My Wretched Symphony
by Cam Irving
Summary: All he knew was his home, his father, and the team that worked there. However, a group of strangely dressed people come across his path, things change. A horrible truth comes forth, and young Nathan will have to decide if the life he's been living is right or not.OC insert; however, not the way one would expect. (On temporary hiatus while I fix chapters...)
1. Prologue

EDITED AS OF 4/17/2013.

Reread? It's much longer and prettier!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ToS! If I did... Kratos wouldn't be such a stiff! But then he wouldn't be Kratos... so yeah. I'd leave it... the same?

**~Twenty Years Ago~**

A baby's shrill cry split the ears of everyone in the room. The father's lips curled into an annoyed scowl, while the mother's eyes were wide with horror, her entire body shaking with disgust and revulsion.

"Get that thing away from me!" the mother yelled. A mid-wife took the baby and went to wash him. The mother got up and dressed.

"It's going to be very troublesome raising a child in a place like this," the father growled, disgusted.

"But my Lord…" The mid-wife hesitated, gently jostling the baby. "You're the one who wanted this to happen…"

"I know that," he snapped.

She cringed and nodded vigorously. 'Is this truly what you wanted? An heir? You don't seem so thrilled…' But she wouldn't dare say those words.

"You promised you'd release me if I birthed your child," the mother said nervously.

The father sighed. "Yes I did, didn't I…" He sounded thoughtful, and a glimmer of hope gleamed in the woman's tired, worn eyes.

Then a malicious grin crossed his face, and he gazed at the mother. She tensed. "Kill her."

Her eyes snapped wide. "What! NO! That wasn't part of the dea-!" Her terrified shout was quickly cut off as the woman lost her head, and blood splattered on both mid-wife and baby. The blood-covered woman stepped back with wide eyes as the baby erupted in a scream.

The father turned back to the mid-wife, ignoring her terrified look. "I give you permission to raise that … child until he can be useful to the ranch. As soon as he is old enough, let me know." Then he began to leave the room, but stopped at the door, seeming to remember something. He continued out, looking for someone, and settled on a randomly passing person. "You!" he snapped. The boy jumped, and then turned to him.

"Y-yes, my lord?" the boy stammered.

The father just headed back to the room he'd just been in, the boy following nervously. "Go clean that up." He said, gesturing to the body still lying within.

"Y-yes, my lord! The half-elf set to work, a haunted look in his eyes.

The mid-wife, not wanting the infant to have to watch his mother's body be taken away, held him close and tried to calm him as she dashed out of the room.

She rushed into a separate room and finally had the opportunity to get a good look at the child. Had he fallen asleep, or had he fainted? She didn't know. He had fuzzy black hair, and an oval shaped face. She frowned. 'I'll have to see his eyes at a later date.' Sadly, she would never get to see his eyes.

She bit her lip. 'He will be displeased… a child who bears everything his mother has, but nothing of his father. A memory every time he looks at him… Nathan…' She held him close. Her soft green eyes filled with sympathy.

**~10 Years later~**

"This is disgraceful! Afraid of blood!" Nathan cringed at his father's snarl. "This is preposterous! How will I ever make good use of him in the ranch?" The man sighed, pressing a finger against his temple. "There are always more I could use-"

"S-sir…" The voice came from a nervous young man behind his father. Nathan looked up at him his eyes clouded with worry, he remembered his name; it was Harlond. His Father's second in command, as much as his father had respect for the man, he didn't seem to appreciate being interrupted.

"What?" He growled.

"Y-you could always use him as a technician… he seems very smart at this age. Even for ten, he's very mature, and very knowledgeable. He knows more than some of the others here…" Harlond brought up a hand to brush back the brown locks of hair that were damp, he was anxious. He didn't like bringing things up that might upset his Lord.

"But of course! He has the best education there is! A very good idea. Nathan, how would you like to make me proud?" He sneered, but scowled when Nathan's eyes lit up.

"Oh, yes, father! Definitely!" came the happy reply.

'That boy is far too soft hearted.' He thought with a small snarl.

He sat in his room in a corner after his father's offer. He felt delighted, but at the same time, it didn't feel right. He jumped a little as the door swung open and hit the wall with a thud, causing the young boy to jump a little.

"Hey there, Nathan." He smiled a little but inwardly grimaced. He recognized that fake smile on all the women that cared for him. It said she didn't want to be there. That he was just a nuisance.

"Hi, Julie." He chirped,

"What do you say we get you some new clothes, huh?" She shifted her weight and placed a hand on her hip. She watched as the boy paused to think.

"The tailor?" He grimaced a little; the tailor always purposely poked him with the needles though... He wasn't going to say anything.

"Yup, we're gonna resize those clothes." She said, taking him by the hand and leading him out.

Minutes later, he found himself standing on a stool, his arms outstretched as the tailor cut and hemmed seams to make room for the growing boy beneath them. He whimpered in worry when he saw the needle disappear under the clothes and shifted uneasily.

"Quit moving." The desian quipped, needle in mouth as he tried to repin some clothes to the boy.

"But... my arms are getting tired!" Nathan whined, feeling the weight in his arms get stronger.

"Then get poked." The tailor sighed and continued his job. The little elf suddenly yelped when a needle poked his skin. He jerked and stared at the spot. He felt strangely terrified as he saw the material strain a little with red.

"There, see what you did?" The half-elf sneered. Nathan swallowed thickly as he watched the wound get bigger. The flow of blood increasing until it was running down his arm like a river. His knees grew weak.

A pitiful whimper escaped his lips.

'Why aren't they stopping it?' He couldn't talk; black dots crept in around the edges of his eyes before he suddenly toppled off the stool.

"Wha-?"

"Nathan!"

He woke up to find no pools of blood or be dead. That was a good thing.

He was propped against the stool, Julie was looking down at him. The tailor staring, trying to figure out exactly what the boy was about to ask.

"What happened?" He asked, holding a hand to his head.

"You passed out when you got poked by the tailor." She helped him up.

"And now I get to finish my job." The tailor said, picking the scrawny elfling up and setting him on the stool once again. He paled considerably.

'Oh no, not again…' Nathan whimpered.

He glanced over at Julie who was now examining her nails, the previous event forgotten. He felt uncertainty seep into his bones again.

'No one cares for me here. What's gonna happen with my life?' He thought hesitantly.

Some minutes later, the tailor pushed him down and barked at the young boy.

"Alright, that's it."

Nathan shifted in the clothes and worked any pinches out. He wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but staying any longer in the tailor's presence was something they both didn't want. On his way out, he glanced at the full-body mirror. He stopped, captivated; giggling to himself as he stood staring. The reflection wore a navy-blue, skin-tight shirt that covered most of his upper torso. The collar was snug up against his throat; he wormed a finger under it and coughed a little. The shirt was tucked into the pants. Oh yeah! He definitely liked the room he had now.

He recalled with an almost satisfied giggle how the tailor scrapped his old pair for new ones. The tailor had been muttering the entire time as he made the pair appropriate for Nathan's scrawny size. He'd miss the familiarity of his old jeans, but welcome the comfort fit. They hugged nice at his hips, didn't pinch anywhere, and were _black _with silver threading. He ran a finger along the hem going up his leg with wonder.

'Is it real silver?'

"What are you still _doing_ here you _brat_? Get _out_!" The tailor snapped, spotting him. He threatened to throw something at him. Nathan yelped and dashed out without looking back.

'Crazy old man…' He thought, running a hand though his hair on his way back to the room.

Julie had left before the tailor was done, much to his disappointment. He didn't like her being there, but having someone to talk to passed the time easier than no one. He ran his hand along the wall as he walked down to his room. Many workers passed by him but only once or twice did someone stare. He figured they were new; unaccustomed to such a young kid being there.

He felt his heart seize as such a conversation reach his ears from around the corner. He stopped before they picked up his presence.

"Hey, Ephram, I've seen a little kid running around, isn't there a recruit age? What is such a tiny kid doing here? He looks hardly able to pick up a sword, let alone defend himself! How old is he, even? _Eight_?" He felt his spirits from earlier drop like a rock. His shoulders sagged.

"Jeez, Asalee, relax. When you wanted to get me away, I didn't know it was to assault me with questions. Well, that kid's Lord Kvar's son. You've been here about a week right? No one's told you yet? Hm, well, whatever. That scraggy thing is Kvar's kid." He felt his heart pound as the silence seemed to echo on the walls.

"His _son?_ He looks nothing like him!"

"Yeah...well no one's around that was there when he was born, but apparently his mom was a human and he got all his mother's genes."

"Psh, what a ripoff!" Nathan flinched, feeling a stab at his heart. 'Mama wasn't bad… she wasn't!'

"Wait, that means he's..." He felt the question hang in the air heavily, as if Asalee couldn't believe it.

"Yeah..._A fourth._" He felt it would be better to go now, instead of listen more and feel more stabs to his heart. He rounded the corner and walked towards them, plastering a smile on his face. Asalee had her helmet tucked under her arm and long platinum-blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail with a thin strand of leather and draped over her shoulder. Fringe framed her oval face. Nathan admitted to himself, she was quite pretty.

"Hi~" He waved at them; he drank in the startled look on Asalee's face and the look of... he couldn't identify that look, but it looked like pity from the male. Ephram had a cocky grin on his face at the sight of Nathan. He had green eyes and with a grimace Nathan realized he mocked him. His smile wavered a moment.

"H-hi..." The woman greeted, still shaken at the sudden appearance of the boy. Her male companion looked at her, as if trying to send the message of 'the hell are you thinking?' Nathan shook his head and walked away.

"What the hell was that, Asalee?" He heard the man hiss as he walked away.

"Shut up, Ephram! The kid... he looked lonely." Asalee said, almost kindly.

'No, no, I will not go back.' He had to set his resolve as they continued talking, the voices fading as he kept walking.

"Oh, so now he looks lonely? He's_ strange_. All he does is lock himself in his room, or stare at people, or work on technology. The kids a freak!"

"Ephram, shut the hell up." She scolded, he felt a little happy that she defended him.

"The kids afraid of blood." Ephram wouldn't drop the subject.

"That's only cause-" Asalee couldn't come up with an answer. "Maybe he suffered something traumatic when he was smaller..." He couldn't bear to hear anymore. He returned to his room.

He opened the door and laid his hand on the chair. It was pushed in neatly to the desk in the middle of the small room; the room had white walls and gray tile. There was a regular bed with simple white linens to his right. On the wall in front of him there was a small bookshelf with just a few books on it, there were dates ranging consecutively. He had to stop himself from shaking. He shook his head violently to clear his thoughts.

'I need to write.' He sat down and opened the journal to a blank page.

_I'm allowed to roam the place. But I'm restricted from going into several places. Like the basement, or Father's office. I never understood these things, but never once did I disobey. Now I'm actively making prototypes with the other half elves. I spend the days making swords, halberds, all weaponry and armory; while at night I'm always wracking my brain for ideas on new products to help my father and his company to thrive more. I read books in my free time, but I have so little of it. Even so, I am ahead of the others. I keep learning new things that help me with inventing. Which I think Father is really proud of! I'm finally contributing to his work! But what I can't understand is why Father doesn't allow me into the Basement, or his office. What is over there that he really doesn't want me to see? It's not that big a deal; I just have too much a curiosity that's all. Til next time._

He sighed and closed the book, sliding it neatly into the shelf. He tucked the pencil into the cup and got up. Pushing the chair in he leaned against the desk, contemplating what to do now.

**~Five years Later~**

_It's my fifteenth birthday today, and I have realized I'm alone in this world. I've noticed how no one else is like me. My aura is black. Everyone else's is blue, green, and red. Red is a very common color, it's not a good aura either. I can tell by their eyes. It's burning hate. Or is it desire for the blood they might spill? What is it about? I mean, I don't know what it is but I think I can see into people's souls. Or no. I think it's their mana. I can see their mana. I think I'm different from them. They all have this same shaped of aura. While I feel mine is different. I hate the fact I don't know as much as I should._

_But that only made me realize more that I truly am alone in this world. I took a blood test on my own and learned that I'm not a half elf, nor elf, nor human. I'm the lowest of them all. I'm only a fourth-elf. It made me recall that conversation that - what was her name, Azalia? I don't remember it was so long ago, it hadn't hit me then. Like, truly hit me, that I was probably the only fourth-elf they'd ever meet. But they all knew before I did. I have never heard of anything like it. I need to make myself fit in more. I was going to start training. _

_I think Joseph beat me to it, because he had a birthday present for me. I had planned to ask him to make me a sword, one that he thought would fit me, but I think he'd already had it in the works. He just nodded, accepting everything as I told him. It was funny, he'd asked me what _kind_ of blades I wanted, and I didn't know. I honestly didn't know what kind of blades I wanted. I gave him the simple answer of 'dual blades' and he nodded, giving me a great smile and told me it'd be ready in a couple hours. When he told me it was ready, I pulled it from the sheath and it fell apart in my hands. It just split in two. I thought I'd somehow broken it. He ended up laughing at me so much. I don't think my face has ever been so red. _'_you asked for Dual Swords' He told me, and I never heard him laugh so much, it made me feel great. He went on to explain how I was supposed to fight a certain way, (he went on to show me a little how to move too, but I think I'll forget it pretty fast, it was confusing!) He's the one person I think I'd consider a friend. __**Friend...**__ it's such a foreign word to me. But he continued to ask me what I would want with the swords, and I simply told him that I'd have to learn eventually. All the books I'd read with sword fighting, it just gave me the chills thinking that one day I might be able to join the action. His laughter was deep, but sincere as he told me that yes, one day, I did need to learn._

Nathan paused in his writing. As much as today was fun - he glanced at the sheath in the corner, a smile spreading across his face, but it was gone in an instant as more malevolent thoughts invaded his mind.

_I'm a fourth elf… Is that why all the others look at me with confusion and pity? Because they can't sense _what_ I am? Is that why I look so different from the other half elves? But why have I never sensed a human here? Never ever have I met a human. Yet they look at me like I have three heads! I haven't seen a half elf with rounded ears, they are all pointed! Nor have I seen one with black hair, or eyes as icy blue as mine._

_Was my half-elven father in love with my human mother? Is that even possible? From what it sounds like, half elves are despised by humans... _

_She must have been an incredible woman. I wish I could have met her._

_But aside from that, I realize that now, I have so many unanswered questions that my father isn't willing to answer. Like, why are there only half elves here? Why do we make weapons when there's nothing to fight? Why is it that sometimes late at night I can hear screams and get hit with a wave of something I've never sensed before? Something that I've only read about, white terror I think. There's something that everyone is hiding from me. And I need to find out what._

Nathan closed his journal and exhaled a deep sigh. He'd written several already, all mostly venting or brooding, but still. Sliding it into the bookcase, he got dressed. Slipping out of his room, he started for the forbidden part of the ranch.

Nathan had his hand on the wall throughout the whole trek. The lights overhead had dimmed for the night leaving just the little lights along the path guiding his way; to tell the truth, he wasn't even sure he knew where it was - or where it led. He tried to follow the paths along the turns, so he knew his way back in case he had to flee in a hurry.

A thought occurred to him, why would he need to run? He shook his head.

He realized with a jolt that he was now heading down the main corridor. It divided the ranch. He'd looked at a map many times, but that was different than actually traversing the place without it to guide him. Nathan realized that he'd never been to that side of the ranch. He didn't even know what was to the left, towards the dreaded side.

'_One look shouldn't kill me…'_ He thought, insecurely as he tiptoed towards the door. Even when his footfalls were soft, he missed the second pair of feet behind him. As he neared it, he could sense increasing horrified, petrified mana. It was so strong, he himself began to feel the effects. Fear. His knees began to shake as his resolve began to melt.

_'Something bad is going on! But-!'_ Something propelled him forward, the need to know.

'Why in the hell are people so scar-'

Taking a running step forward, he was about to bolt into the sensors view and open the door, but a hand on his collar, pulling him back caused him to yelp. The yelp was cut short when he was pulled off his feet and onto his back, the air rushed out of his lungs, the yelp ended with a pained gasp. He gazed upwards to the irate look of his father.

All remaining will he had melted in the burning look his father gave him. It wasn't clear, but being around the man for a good twenty years, he knew his antics. A thin smirk on his face. Nathan almost would have rathered him grabbed him and smacked him around.

"Now, Nathan I wonder where you were heading?" His father inquired, his voice tilting up.

He stiffened, eyes snapping wide. 'Crap, I thought… I swore no one was following me...' He was about to sit up and look into the room when his father placed a foot on his chest, pushing him back down.

"You were going to go to deeper into the ranch weren't you?"

Nathan flinched at two things, the hidden icy tone in his father's voice, and the door began to slide painfully closed. It shut with an audible hiss and Nathan felt empty inside for not getting to see what it was that was behind that door.

'Goddess dammit all.' He thought, struggling to breathe with his father's foot on his chest. At his struggle, his father only began to smirk more. A ping of fright shot through him at the gaze.

"I don't wish to repeat this incident, return to your quarters this instant." He removed his foot, allowing the teen to inhale deeply. "Should we repeat this; further consequences will be met, am I clear?" Nathan met his gaze for a split second before having to tear his eyes away, visibly trembling at the steely look his father was giving him.

"I-I, yes, father!" Just as he was about to bolt, a vice like grip snagged his elbow. He yelped and looked back at his father. His trembling intensified. He tried to gather his balance, but his father kept him at an awkward angle.

"Resign yourself from calling me _father_."

The elfling flinched as Father spat the word. He towered over Nathan and watched his reaction. "B-but I-" Nathan stammered, his legs scrambling again for traction on the floor. If he swore anymore, he'd bleed. He whimpered as he felt his father grip his arm harder.

"Kvar. Don't call me father again, boy." The eyes narrowing, the venom in his voice; combined with what happened was too much. Nathan felt the walls start to close in. Kvar released him from the grip and Nathan fell to the ground.

He scrambled up and ran back to his room. In the darkness he fled his father; he almost thought he heard a laugh, a dark chuckle, but it echoed along the wall, becoming malevolent and evil. He didn't even bother keeping his hand to the wall, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew the way back.

He saw his room coming, fear closed in on him. Throwing himself into the censors view, the door barely opened in time before he stumbled in and crashed to the floor.

Oh goddess.

Oh goddess, what was that?

He drew himself up, trying to pull himself out of his shaken mind, his shaking hands pressed to his ears.

Harder.

_Harder._

That laugh wouldn't leave his head for the life of him! He shook his head.

The look in his father's eyes. He felt sweat begin to build around his bangs. He brought a hand up and while he intended to push them aside, he gripped the damp lock of hair and leaned into his palms, hoping the pain would clear his mind. Something told him to stop around a few minutes into this and begin the more rational ways of calming down. He tried counting to ten.

Somewhere he got lost and when he remembered himself, he was at Eighty-Seven. He chuckled weakly and got up from his place on the floor. He felt a better, but not too much. The looming shadow of his father was...

Portentous.

**~Five years later~**

_It's my twentieth birthday today. Where I live, everything has been, for lack of a better word, mild. I mean, I never understand why my father is always so harsh sounding, so cold. Perhaps it's because he's in charge of this whole operation? I don't even know what to call this place. They call it a ranch, but I can never hear what _kind_ of ranch through the hushed voices. Ranches usually house things, right? That worries me, honestly. It's nothing I can really describe. But it's immense. For being almost twenty years old, there are some places I've never been to. Like the basement. I will never understand why my father forbids me to go down there. Also, I am absolutely not allowed to go down the hallway to father's office. He told me it'd only make me faint. That night a couple years ago is still fresh in my mind. It was a side I'd never seen of Father, it really scared me._

_Hemophobia; fear of blood. That's what the others say I have. I don't even know when I got to be afraid of the sight of it, something must have happened when I was little, perhaps something I don't remember. We have sharp equipment here, perhaps I hurt myself badly? Cut an artery perhaps? I don't have any scars that would have resulted in such a thing. Sigh, I don't know, nor do I care. I know my father's tough, but he just has high standards, which makes me strive even harder to meet them. I remember the time when I made a good armor prototype! That was awesome. He looked so proud. But his emotions were closed off. Like he was hiding something. Something sinister. Gah, shake that thought. He's your dad, that's all there is to it. Can't you be excited about your new journal instead?_

_I'm sorry, I'm forgetting to introduce myself, new journal, my name is Nathan… Nathan Satou. Satou is my mother's maiden name. I find a few things strange about my life, compared to those I've read in books. My father raised me alone, with some help from some other very kind ladies. I never met my mother._

He heard my door open and I was snapped out of his journal writing. The man before him was tall. He had dull silver hair, and slitted black eyes. 'I have noticed he has this superiority complex going on sometimes. Like I'm lesser than him…I hope that's not the case…' He thought, as if that would be what he'd continue to write into the journal later.

"Nathan, you're needed for repairs. Some computers have malfunctioned." Kvar's hard, rough voice made Nathan shiver a little. But the chance to prove himself to his father mattered far more.

"Yes. Fath-"

Kvar, his father, looked affronted. "Nathan, please, again and again, I tell you, it's Kvar." Nathan tried to hide his flinch when the half-elf growled in the back of his throat.

"Yes, Kvar, right away." He straightened, earning a look of approval before he bolted off.

~End Chapter~

Leave a review? ^_^


	2. Revelation

**A/N: IM NOT DEAD I SWEAR- *shot***

**Chapter two~ Thank you so much for the reviews everyone!**

**If only I could see the shocked faces when Kvar's fatherhood became clear.**

**(laughs)**

**Genis: CamIrving Doesn't own Tales of Symphonia..**

**Just realized I didn't disclaim the last chapter!**

**Nathan is mine! He is my own creation, made of blood, sweat, and tears!... Just kidding…. But he is mine. o.o**

**ONWARD CHAPTER TWO: Revelation**

* * *

Nathan sighed. He lay in his bed hours after fussing with some extremely wrecked equipment, how it got that way, he'll never know. Rolling over he reached for his journal. Taking out his pencil from the binding, he began to write.

_It's another boring day here… Father is more uptight than usual. Like something is wrong. But he won't say what… I wish he could open up a little. He's never truly praised me… Unless… I don't remember..._

_How is it that I never understand my father? Why is it that I think that he is hiding something?_

Sleep began to overwhelm him and he drifted off into a strangely and unusually uneasy dose.

'_Oh... so it's another one of those dreams…'_

_He heard muffled screaming; a man's, a child's, a woman's, and a monsters cry blending at once. Snapping his eyes open, glancing down he drank in the fact his body was small. _

"_Wha?" He looked at his heads and his mouth dropped open in terror, but no sound spilled from his throat. His small trembling hands were covered in blood, the red liquid streaming down his palms and up his arm. _

_Instantly, he began to shake. "What!" He scrambled up. Looking down he was drenched in blood, quickly he realized he had been sitting in a puddle of the bodily red liquid._

"_W-wh-why- where am I bl- no. I'm not bleeding! Then who's blood is this! ?" He yelped, forcing down the bile that threatened to release, he looked around for the source. He didn't find any; it was covering the whole ground. Nathan couldn't handle it anymore._

_He let out an ear splitting scream. Scrambling back, he ran._

Snapping awake, he bolted upright panting before looking down at his hands. Doing a quick body check, he sighed in relief when he found it was just another vivid nightmare. Pressing a hand to his head as he calmed down, he sighed again. "Damn… I hate that dream. It's happened too many times to be just a mere coincidence." Sighing, he groaned softly as he sat up and put away the journal that had been still open on his lap.

As he was getting dressed, a worker walked in. "Sir," Nathan looked up as he flattened his shirt. "Yeah?"

"L-L..." He caught himself, he had been about to say 'Lord Kvar'. "Your father needs help with a computer in the east wing…"

"East wing?" Nathan mumbled to himself. "The one with lots of computers right? But I just fixed something there last night…"

The teen sighed and headed towards the East wing. There was a shortcut he found when he was younger, by going out into the courtyard and taking the hidden door, which would take him right into the East wing.

However, something was different. When he walked out of the North wing, there were two workers leading a group, one in front, and one bringing up the rear, seemingly escorting the group, all of which weirdly dressed.

'What?' He thought, as they passed him. He stared at them intensely, noticing the one in the lead had a slight limp, and he frowned a tad as one of the oddly dressed others tense up a bit at his gaze.

'I don't exactly remember seeing them before… Maybe they're new workers?... And what's with the group? I mean, cmon, it looks a little too suspicious to me... But Father will be mad if I don't take care of this… maybe I'll know what's going on later…' He took a hesitant step and continued towards the East Wing.

He couldn't help noticing the sudden relief he felt coming in waves from the group behind him as he walked away.

(Later)

As Nathan screwed the panel back into place, the computer rebooted, before the alarms flashed overhead. "What?" He watched as the computer screen warned about an intruder, and where they were last spotted. "Down that hallway…" Nathan thought, making up his mind, he quickly gathered his tools, placed them back into the Storage area, and went to investigate.

He swiftly made his way through the wing, before staring at the hallway door to where he knew he wasn't allowed to go.

He swallowed thickly before stepping into the censors view, and the door slid open.

'That wasn't so hard…' He continued down the hall, picking up his pace. Turning a corner he slipped on something slick and fell onto his hands and knees. Nathan's eyes snapped open. "Oh goddess…" He stared at the dead Desian in front of him.

Forcing down the lump in his throat, ignoring what he put his hand in, he staggered up. Running now, he dodged the few bodies of the other desians. He, again, had to turn a blind eye when he saw a worker whose helmet had been knocked off; he shook his head and hurried on.

At the end of the hallway he froze, his eyes stretched wide in dismay and horror.

'What is this…?' He stared at the conveyor belt. People dressed in mere rags were chained to the belt. Nathan watched in horror as they appeared and disappeared across the bridge.

Mere logic told him that the stones coming out of the belt near his left were the people he'd seen seconds before.

'Oh my goddess…' He thought, frozen to the floor. He saw the group of people from earlier cornered, and recognized the faces of the 'newbies' from before in the crowd.

'They're on the other side...? What is going on…?' Nathan spotted his father in the midst of it all.

"_What the hell is all this_?" Boy-in-red stammered in shock. 'So he didn't know either?'

Right then, before his father spoke, Nathan wanted to turn and run. He wanted to stay ignorant; he didn't want this to happen. Not in the slightest bit.

His father's voice brought him from his thoughts. "This is where the Exsphere's are removed from the host bodies."

'Host… B-Bodies…?' There was that feeling again. He clenched his hand and brought it to his mouth.

A tall, silver haired woman stepped forward; her face was pale with dread. "Do you mean that exspheres are made from human lives?"

Nathan flinched at the tone in his father's voice. "Not exactly, exspheres are dormant at first, they extract nourishment from humans to grow and awaken; human ranches are exsphere manufacturing plants."

Nathan's blood ran cold; he felt the blood drain from his face. '_Human _ranch! T-This is all so wrong…! Why didn't I know about this sooner?' He didn't even have to look at his father to know he was smirking as he continued. "Why _else_ would spend _our_ time raising and taking _care_ of these _inferior beings?_"

He barely noticed the younger silver haired boy clench his fists and shake in rage. "T-that's terrible!" "Terrible? Terrible is what _you _have done."

Nathan felt chills go down his spine at the mocking tone in Kvar's voice; he knew this was the man his father had been hiding all along.

'Why? _Why did he hide this from me!_ _What reason does he have?_ This is so infuriating!' His breath began to quicken as his vision turned red with rage, fighting to keep a growl of frustration he didn't catch what Kvar said next.

"You deserve to be punished."

'**Them?** _Punished? _It's you who needs to be punished!' He thought, but kept himself from shouting it. He needed to know the facts before jumping into things.

Nathan's eyes widened when the soldiers began creeping forward, cornering the group of foreigners more, he backed up and around a corner.

"Damn! We're surrounded." Nathan wanted to help, but an idea in a different form wormed its way into his head.

'I'll help them the best way I know how.'

"Lloyd, your exsphere is to be an offering to Lord Yggdrasill, it's time you gave it back."

'Lord Yggdrasill? Who's that…?' He could have sworn _someone_ said it before.

The silver haired woman spoke up. "Yggdrasill, I suppose that's the name of your leader."

'If that's so, why haven't I heard of him before?' His hands flew to his head. 'This is all so new to me, dammit!'

Kvar continued on, "Yes, now, for the sake of our great leader, and my success, I need that exsphere!" Nathan looked slightly startled at the hint of anger and desperation seeping into his voice.

Lloyd – Nathan only assumed was his name, since his father kept calling him that – clenched his hands into fists and stepped forward a little. "_Again? What's so special about it_?" Lloyd growled, but the knowledge seeking glint in his eyes told Nathan that Lloyd really wanted to know.

Kvar chuckled. "That is the result of years of precious research. All was thought to be lost when that filthy female host body stole it. But I can finally reclaim what is rightfully mine!"

Lloyd's lips pulled back in a snarl as grave realization finally hit him. "Female host body... You aren't talking about-!"

Nathan flinched at the mocking tone in Kvar's voice. "Hmm, you don't get it do you? That exsphere was cultured on Host Body AO12, human name, Anna, your mother. She took it and escaped the facility. She obviously paid for the crime with her life."

Nathan took an involuntary step back at his father's pleased chuckle when Lloyd looked enraged as everyone else looked disgusted or horrified.

"You killed my-!"

Kvar waved a hand, as if dismissing the subject. "Now, now don't blame me; I'm not the one that killed Anna." He paused and pasted an almost proud smirk on his face. "Your father did."

"LIAR!" Lloyd seethed.

Kvar chuckled again. "Please. Anna turned into a monster when her Key Crest-less exsphere was removed. And your father killed her. Pathetic don't you think?"

Nathan bit his lip, and glanced at the dark auburn haired man standing nearby, he had his eyes narrowed into dark slits.

"Do not speak ill of the dead." He said, clenching a fist. Nathan noted his fists trembling.

His eyes tore to his father when he erupted into laughed. "Hahahah, who cares? They were both just a couple of filthy humans, worthless _maggots_!" He spat.

Lloyd growled through clenched teeth. "Don't you _ever_ talk about my parents like that!"

Kvar signaled to his men and they began moving inwards towards the group.

As they backed up some, a girl in the back, with black hair pulled back into a messy pony-tail, stepped forward.

"I'll handle this." She took out a card, staring at it, her eyes glazed over with something Nathan couldn't identify. "I'm gonna use the last one, Grandpa." Then threw it into the air where it hovered in place.

The next part blew Nathan away. From that card erupted a plume of smoke, and a large _thing_ - for lack of a better word - appeared. Turning to the group behind it, they disappeared.

His mouth dropped open.

"Damn! We lost them…" One of the men said.

Kvar had a wide smirk on his face, his beady eyes narrowed in greed.

"Don't worry, they'll be back. But in the meantime, retrieve the exspheres, and strengthen the security. If we have to, we can find them with the Chosen's signature trail."

'There must be some unspoken _thing_ between that auburn haired man and Kvar…' Nathan snapped out of his trance then started to back away quickly. Once he thought he had enough space between him, his father and his father's troops, he turned and ran.

However, unbeknownst to him, Kvar heard him, and stared hard at his son as he rounded a corner and fled.

"Seems he's grown into a rat."

"What, my lord?" One of the higher standing Desians asked.

"Nothing, Harlond." Kvar waved him away. "I have some business to attain to." He walked away, planning his next moves.

* * *

Nathan didn't stop running until he was sure he was long out of the way and back in his room.

Snatching his journal he started scribbling what had happened down on the parchment paper.

Once done he sat on the floor beside his bed and looked at his hands.

'There's still blood on them…' He thought, his hands shaking worse than he thought possible.

Finally, something within him snapped. Scrambling up he ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach.

Retching again and again, long after his mind told him there was nothing to throw up, he finally stopped.

'So many people died today… But who were they? Good? Bad? I never knew there was something- _any_thing going on outside the fa- r-ranch…' He got up and washed his hands, scrubbing, trying to get every bit of blood off him.

'What if they're the good guys?... Those people I saw. Am I willing to throw away everything I've known?'

'_Of course you are. You know your father's a murderer.'_

'But so are they… they killed at least five today… maybe more…'

'_But look who they're helping. Those half elves that died, they are no better than your father. For all you know they're worse than your father metaphorically speaking.'_

Nathan had no clue where this 'smarter' more 'wiser' side was speaking from, but he believed it.

Tomorrow, and he hoped it was tomorrow, he would help that group reinfiltrate the ranch.

And possibly even join them at the end.

But would he be ready for that?

Yes, he had to be.

And he had to prepare to help them as well.

Late that night he snuck out of his room. The only thing lighting his path was the strip of lights along the floor boards. Stopping at the quarters he walked in. Most of them were asleep, the others on duty.

He bit his lip as he tip-toed across the darkened room.

Hesitating at the dresser he pulled a uniform out while praying to Martel it fit well.

Dashing out before anyone awoke and noticed him he slipped into his room unnoticed and tried the blue uniform on.

Shifting and shrugging the uniform into place he sighed. "Not too tight but snug…" he pulled at the collar then cursed softly.

He forgot the helmet.

He couldn't go back and get one. He'd have to use his own.

Now he knew why his father had given him one. He expected him to be like one of them!

Nathan shuddered. Kvar wanted him to kill. He wanted him to be a ruthless murdering-! Pr- Jerk! Like him!

"Never." He spat. "Never. _Ever _will I be like him."

As he pulled his helmet on, he began to question the reasons of his birth.

'Half elves lived long right? And Elves longer? What about one-fourth elven? How long will I live? I won't… be some almost immortal being will I?' He stared at his reflection and again, shuddered.

If, and hopefully when, he gets out of this hellhole, he highly hoped he was going to get some decent wear.

His icy eyes stared into his reflections copy. 'This… is who I almost was. Who, for whatever reason it didn't, could have been me,'

Nathan shook his head to clear his thoughts and stripped out of the uniform and back into his own clothes.

He almost smiled. 'Finally something comfortable.'

He sighed. 'Big day tomorrow… let's just hope I'm somewhat ready.' He laid down for rest, but didn't get as much rest as he had hoped.

* * *

The next morning he awoke before the clock. He got up, dressed in the uniform, put on the helmet, and snuck out. He hurried into the security room, slowly he walked in, sweat soaked the collar of his shirt.

But since he was dressed like them, no one turned towards him.

Besides, they were chatting away like little girls.

Nathan narrowed his eyes behind his helmet. 'No wonder they snuck in so easily… no one's paying attention…'

Then he almost pressed a hand to his forehead when he remembered. 'Duh! They were dressed like us- Them…'

He watched the security cameras.

Six were placed around the parameter of the facility, three facing inside, three facing outside.

Several more were placed inside the facility. He looked startled when he saw them enter the view of the camera. He saw two Desians race towards them and lurch into battle.

'Now! I have to help them now!' He slowly got up and with some difficulty slowly walked out of the security room then dashed into a run towards the east wing. Catching some glances at the other Desians he figured it was natural to carry a weapon.

So he'll get his Dual Swords.

With speed he snatched the swords and hurriedly strapped them to his hip and ran towards the technology side of the ranch.

'Hack, it's what I do.' He skid to a stop at the main computer and pulled up a program.

Rapidly typing away on the small keyboard he almost voiced his enthusiasm.

"They should be about here…" He shut down the security traps, half applauded himself when he watched them head that way.

He looked frustrated at the fact there was no way to contact them.

Like a two-way mirror.

He could see them, but they couldn't see him.

Part of him wondered why he was doing this, what was their cause anyway?

'_No. Don't doubt them._

_Anything is better than living in this place where countless people die each day, and I can't do anything about it!'_

- Elsewhere-

"This is too easy. It's like he's letting us in…"

"Did you ever come to think that he just might be?"

"Remember what we're here for."

"Right. What's the point of saving the world if we can't start with something like this? They have to be stopped!"

"For the people of Luin too… Remember, I owe them at least this…"

"Right, we'll save them, everyone, I promise."

-With Nathan-

As he tinkered with the computer letting the layers of security fall, he failed to keep a close eye on the things around him.

He stood up once he finished, letting the group have an easier route.

"Now, off to de-activate the pathway to Kvar's hallway and then they'll be se-" He said before crumbling at the sudden explosion of pain at the base of his skull and blacking out at once when his head slammed to the tile floor.

"I should have put you down a long time ago."

* * *

**There you have it! Chapter 2~**

***dances* I'm so evil, my friend tells me. XD**

**Up next, Nathan feels the wrath of his father.**

**DUN DUN DUNNNN.**


	3. Captured!

**GAAAHHH... I'M SO SORRY! I never expected it to take this long, I knew what I was gonna put, I knew where I was gonna start, where I was gonna stop, but but but so much happened... I have no reason but to just take your wrath. D:**

**You know what, you know what LIFE HAPPENED D:**

**I own nothing but Nathan.**

**I'm really sorry, it's short but I just wanted to let you guys know I'm not... you know... dead. But I promise to get the next chapter up before next year...**

**Please enjoy!**

'_Ow… my head… W-what happened? Did I hurt myself? Did I fall? Why can't I remember anything bef-'_

He bolted upright. At least, as far as he could with his wrists bound. The cufflinks clanked with the sudden movement, and his memory returned to him as quick as lightning.

He had been attacked from behind. By who, he didn't know. He opened his eyes and stiffened: he didn't recognize the place he was at at all.

'_Could it be Fath- Kvar's office?'_ He bit his lip and squirmed a little, getting a feel for how much slack was between the cuffs. '_Why did he bind me….?_'

His blood suddenly ran cold. _'What if… he knows?' _His eyes widened and he shuddered in fear as the realization of that possibility sunk in, struggling harder to push himself up to his feet. '_That's the only reason, RIGHT?_ _I gotta get OUT OF HERE!'_

He bolted into a run, but immediately stopped in his tracks when the teleport pad close by him started to glow, signaling someone's arrival.

_'Shit. I'm screwed! That's the only possible answer! What if all this was for nothing? No!'_ He shook his head, trying to clear it. _'C'mon, you can get out of this...'_

He backed up as adrenaline started to pour into his veins.

_'My swords!_ _Where are my swords_?'

After quickly looking around he saw them, and he jumped once in order to bring his arms in front of him from behind his back so he could at least be able to wield his swords better. But before he could run towards them, he was frozen in place as he felt a presence behind him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Nathan felt his blood turning cold once again. _'That voice…'_

"You've gotten into so much trouble; we wouldn't want you getting into _more_ trouble, now would we? Be a good boy and just lay there," Kvar instructed, firing a lightning bolt to knock Nathan backwards as he slowly walked towards him.

Nathan grunted as he was forced backwards from the attack, stumbled, and then fell to the ground. He glanced warily at the four Desians standing just behind his father, and looked even further behind them to see three of his father's Energy Stones buzzing with life. He swallowed nervously.

"It's time for your punishment, Nathaniel." With a furious scowl, Kvar looked over his shoulder at his underlings. "Get him."

Nathan struggled to get back up to his feet and tensed up as the Desians and Energy Stones readied for battle. A battle that could very well kill him.

"F-Kvar! Please! Wait! I-I'm sorry! Just-" Nathan suddenly froze when he saw the elated grin that Kvar was now giving him at his fearful tone of voice, sending cold chills throughout his body.

He was not going to beg or plead for his life. That bastard killed many, many innocent people. Rage exploded inside him like a raging fire at the thought.

_'Just... let me help them... one way or another.'_

He looked at his swords across the room with longing as the three Energy Stones floated forward while the Desians stayed obediently by Kvar's side. Nathan stepped back into a defensive stance as the floor underneath one of the Energy Stones started to glow. At once, the Energy Stone completed the spell and hurled the bolt of electricity at Nathan. He gasped in both shock and pain when the bolt struck him in the chest, bringing him down to his knees as electrical pulses rippled across his skin, making him gasp in both pain and shock at the strength of the spell.

"Too wrapped up in your thoughts to dodge? Or do you just not care?" Kvar gazed dully and seemed to almost smirk when he saw the burns forming where the metal shackles touched Nathan's wrists. As the spell died, Nathan began to attempt to slowly shrug off the sparks of electricity and recover.

But Kvar would have none of it. "Again."

Another bolt of electricity was charged and launched towards Nathan, and this time, a scream ripped out of his mouth when the spell struck him. When this spell died, he fell forward, gasping and panting in pain.

Kvar stepped over to him and grabbed a handful of hair, yanking Nathan's head up painfully to look his son in the eyes as the consciousness in them started to slip away.

"More punishment will come later, Nathaniel. Just wait until I'm through with you. You'll be wondering why you ever _thought_ of betraying me." Kvar slammed Nathan's head down, chuckling dryly when the man fell unconscious. "Worst mistake of your life."

With narrowed eyes, he turned around towards the Desians and ordered, "Go on! Find the intruders! Figure out how they got in!" All but one Desian remained, staring at the unconscious, slightly sizzling man at Kvar's feet.

"Get on with it!" Kvar snapped. The Desian straightened, flinching from his reverie and hurried off. Kvar then left the room as well.

_'I'll deal with him later.'_

Nathan's eyes flickered open. He stiffened and breathed out a crisp groan of pain and felt something warm and wet on his hands. Ba-dump... He began to breathe quicker, the feeling wasn't familiar. He turned and strained to look at his wrists- while in the process, feeling how sore he was- and shuddered a little when he saw blood staining the cloth on his back. He stiffened. 'B-Bl...' Trembling he searched for the source, he _hated _blood. After a momentary struggle, he saw the wounds on his wrists, the cufflinks had rubbed them raw and were bleeding. He took a deep shuddering breathe as he calmed himself. 'It's my own... t-that's good then...' No one... was hurt. Slowly, he looked around and saw that he was in the same room as before. There was the soft hum coming from the computers, the sound he'd grew to love- his favorite sound even- but currently despised, was enough to bring him back out of the frightened mind.

_But now isn't the time to lose yourself, _he thought as he sat up. Aside from himself, the room was empty, and the warp pad wasn't glowing with activity. He was trapped. He pulled his lip into his mouth and nibbled it anxiously.

He glanced around again, and saw that his weapons that had been on the floor across from him before were no longer there. Sitting up, he tried to access his situation, but only began to slip into a panicked frenzy. He began wracking his mind, trying to clear the fog. _'Come on! Remember how to turn the warps on! Hell man, we helped design it!'_

Wait a minute.

_We?_

He fell back, purposefully crashing his head against the floor. His vision swam for a moment before clearing. He started to stagger up before anyone came. As he sat up straight, he stretched the ache out of his bones the best he could with the shackles on.

He heard a sudden whir and looked at the warp pad in dismay as it purred to life.

_'Crap...'_ He thought as Kvar appeared with three other Desians.

"Sir... you have a notice from Pronyma..." A Desian passed him from behind, one he had not seen until now. Nathan paled at the fact: he'd been there the whole time as a sort of watch, and he had not even noticed him.

"News on the boy?" Kvar asked, heading over to the controls. The buttons clacked as he typed some codes in.

"He's faded in and out of consciousness." Nathan closed his eyes when he saw the Desian turn, feigning that he had lost consciousness again. It worked. "Looks like he's out again."

Kvar sighed deeply. "Weakling."

Nathan heard several footsteps moving, and then the warp pad activating. Nathan heard a few sounds, and strained to listen.

"Can't say I didn't warn you~" A shrill giggle pierced his ears, causing him to flinch a little.

_'P-Pronyma...'_ He slowly opened his eyes. Sweeping the room, he relaxed a little to see her form hovering above the projector, and that all of the Desians that were previously in the room had left.

"Even for such a project with years of planning, I knew that in the end it would not work for you," she said.

"Quiet, Pronyma!" Kvar ordered.

The woman cackled and continued to taunt him. "Twenty years? Of what? Precious, wasted effort you could have spent on the perfect Desian. Instead, he became a cowardly technician! A miserable failure!"

Kvar gritted his teeth and growled. "I've gotten better technology in the years I've used him than in the fifty years I've been working this ranch!"

"Then what of the non-aggression treaty?" Pronyma asked.

Kvar chuckled. "Just a peace of mind to keep the humans from snooping. And it worked until that bastard and his wench came along..." He clenched his fist. "But in the end it was worthless."

Pronyma laughed a high pitched giggle before looking over to Nathan and noticed him awake. "Hm, I wonder how long he's been awake."

Kvar looked over. "No matter, he won't be for long." He then frowned and tapped his foot. "Tell me the real reason of your visit, Pronyma."

The warp pad started to glow, and Nathan glanced at it. Three people appeared: the tall auburn-haired man, the boy dressed in red- the one named Lloyd- and the woman with raven hair. His eyes widened in recognition and he felt a rush of unfamiliar emotions. _'T-They're here! The people from earlier! They're __actually__ here! But… why __here?!__'_

Lloyd stepped forward, his fists clenching. "I've finally found you, Kvar."

Nathan's eyes widened at the tinge of rage slipping into the boy's voice. Pronyma chuckled. "Hmm, so this is Lloyd." She shifted her weight, nodding to herself. "I see, he does bear resemblance."

Kvar turned to Lloyd. "So, you've come." He then turned back to face Pronyma and resumed his conversation as if they weren't there. His body seemed to clench, his fists and jaw tightening. "Don't change the subject! I've realized what you've been doing! You're stealing from my angelus project!"

Pronyma swayed a little, her lips curling up in feigned innocence. "Whatever do you mean? This is the first time I've heard of it."

His eyes narrowed into a glare at her. "I expect no less from a sneaky wench who usurped leadership of the Five Grand Cardinals!" He started to chuckle in a mocking manner. "Prepare, _Lady_ Pronyma! For once I retrieve the exsphere back from this inferior being, _I_ will become the leader of the Five Grand Cardinals!" He rubbed his hands together, as if picturing what he said next. "Oh yes, and when that does, you will be begging for amnesty!"

"That doesn't matter, but I heard from a little bird that Rodyle has talked you into joining his schemes." Pronyma brought a hand up to her face, cupping her chin and resting her elbow in the palm of her other hand. She looked over at the people standing at the warp again. "But it would be best not to deceive Lord Yggdrasill for too long." She started to laugh before the hologram of her disappeared.

Kvar scowled at the projector and cursed a few words before turning to face the three people at the warp. "Enough, once I retrieve that exsphere on your hand, the suspicions I'm under will be all but a distant memory."

A hatch in the wall opened and the three Energy Stones from earlier floated out to surround Kvar.

"Get ready," the auburn-haired man said, drawing his sword.

And just like that, the four exploded into battle.

**~~End Chapter~~**

**So yeah! Next chapter, Battle with Kvar, and Nathan joins the group! Or not!**

**Who knows.**


	4. Battles, phobias, and tunnels

**12/21/12 The world didn't end folks and yep yep! I did itttt! :D Please forgive me for the past inactivity! DX**

**I own nothing but Nathan and his cruel fate. Muahaha!**

**This is only a fast update because I was so familiar with this part, and I managed to write ahead in my trusty composition book...**

**Don't expect an update this fast probably ever again. Until like Flanior because I wrote that today at dinner. OTL**

**Nate: A little ahead of ourselves aren't we?**

**Me: Just... go do your part while I think about all the evil things I'm going to do to you.**

**I'm going to post how much words I have on my profile so if you're curious, just check there often... XD**

**Goal:****2290****, this chapter, and I made it, oh yeah~**

**~~~Chapter Begin~~~**

Nathan gasped as he watched the group. Sparks flew from the Energy Stones guarding Kvar. He cringed a little as every battler received damage.

"Lightning!"

He looked down at himself: how could he help them if he himself was unable to assist? His clothes were singed, and his body burned in places he dared not think about. He sighed as that irritable dull pain reminded him of everything that had transpired. However, he was not allowed to reminisce when a person was suddenly thrown at him.

"Ow-" His yelp of pain intensified when the raven haired woman leapt off of him and grabbed his collar, yanking him out of the way of the blast of electricity she'd seen coming.

"Lightning Strike!"

Dropping him, he saw her race off with arcs of electricity shooting up her arm. She reached into her obi and pulled out a card. "_Argh!_ You'll pay for that, Pyre Seal!"

His eyes widened when the card mutated and shifted from its stony brown color to a bright red, and with a flick of her wrist, some cards exploded in Kvar's face and feet. As Kvar stumbled back with a grunt, Lloyd rushed in to slash at him with a roar of "Beast!", using his elbow to bash into Kvar and knocking the man off-balance. Kvar had a second to see mana open around the weapon and elegantly shape themselves into a lion before it lunged at him.

Nathan's eyes widened as he watched the celestial lion leap out at Kvar and swiped at his chest and leaving four parallel claw marks there. He was almost sad to see it vanish.

He turned when he heard the warp pod whir to life again, and three more people appeared. Relief filled him when he recognized them as the remaining members of Lloyd's group.

Two half-elves with silver hair- he could tell from their mana- were there: with one being a tall woman, and the other one being a less threatening-looking boy. The third person with them was a blonde human girl, who quickly rushed over to him as soon as she saw him, drawing the attention of the other two as well and making them follow.

"Who are you?" The silver-haired woman asked. He twitched as the blonde girl undid his bindings, setting him free.

_'Half elves... those two are definitely that. Siblings, too. The boy has almost the same mana signature as her.'_

In a loud voice, the blonde girl asked, "Why are you here? Are you a captive?"

Nathan snapped back to attention as the blonde rattled off more questions, while the smaller half-elf stayed back a little and continued to scrutinize him.

"I'm-" _'It's obvious fa- Kvar is their enemy... just by the way they're fighting him... For me to be his son...'_ "-a-a captive" he stammered a little, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts filled with betrayal along with a still festering wound.

"Why are you up here?" The younger half-elf asked, his eyes unsure.

Nathan looked down: hindsight told him that everything the Desians told him were in a form of code, to keep him in the dark at least, most likely. He then remembered about the _'thieves'_ who came and '_stole goods_.'

He didn't know that he'd been chewing his lip until it started to hurt. Snapping back to attention again, he worked at the words. "They wanted to know if I knew about the escaped captive."

He thought he had just blown it, until the blonde girl responded, "Pietro! You mean about the-"

There was a sudden crack that startled the blonde, and she looked back at the half-elf. "Professor-"

A cry caused them all to look over. Lloyd had his sword lodged tight in an Energy Stone, and despite how hard he seemed to pull, it would not come loose. His mouth fell open as bends of electricity shot up his arm and caused him to jolt and writhe in pain.

The blonde flinched and covered her ears. "What's that sound?!"

She heard it before anyone else: a high-pitched whine, coming from the Energy Stone itself. Nathan knew what that meant, and that was _not a good sign._

"No! LET GO OF YOUR SWORD! IT'S GOING TO-!" He bolted up to try and rush over.

_'It's going to explode!'_ He wanted to scream, to yell at the brunette for being as stupid as to kill it within range, let alone get a sword stuck. But how would they be able to know about it? Kvar would never tell them, and he couldn't tell them himself without making himself look suspicious.

As if the high-pitched whine could not get louder, the Energy Stone exploded, knocking the teenaged boy back and crashing into the furthest wall.

"LLOYD!" The card user cried, looking back at Kvar when he sent a bolt of lightning at her. However, the auburn-haired man intercepted it before it could reach her.

"Sheena! I've got him, go!" He leapt at the Cardinal to keep him busy, but made sure to use little energy to keep Kvar off the tail of the one he now knew was called Sheena.

She dashed over to Lloyd and her worries seemed to melt away as soon as she heard the raspy, ragged breaths from the teen.

"Raine! Life bottle!" Sheena called, her voice shaky. It was the younger half-elf though that reached into his satchel and tossed the item over to her. "Thanks Genis!" She pulled the stopper off, cringing a little at the potent smell; industrial, yet herbal with a ting of frost. She waved the open bottle under Lloyd's nose, who immediately jolted awake.

"Ugh my head—owwwww!" Nathan could tell that Lloyd _hated_ waking up like that. Wrinkling his nose in distaste, Lloyd downed the bottle and shuddered. "Blech!"

"So... those things explode when defeated..." Sheena noted to herself with a nod. "I think they use the mana they have stored and just make a bomb of themselves..."

"Cool!" He rubbed his neck and rolled his shoulders. "Thanks." He grabbed one sword, and after a moment of confusion, found the other one lodged in the wall above him. "Yikes... that could have been bad..."

Sheena nodded, and they both re-entered the fight.

The female half-elf that Nathan now knew as Raine walked over to him, although with a gaze filled with wariness and distrust. "Many things are wrong about you. Despite those burns, you still look too healthy to be a captive."

He froze, glancing over at the battle scene to see that there was one Energy Stone left. The auburn-haired man tried to cast a spell at Kvar from a distance, but the Desian easily dodged that and handled the other two fighters well after the beatings they both received. Kvar then noticed Nathan and laughed aloud, as if amused at himself for momentarily forgetting about him. "Lightning!"

Nathan quickly shot up and shoved Raine out of the way. Pain was fresh in his mind again as the electricity bent and charged over him. He clenched his teeth and fell to one knee as the electricity eventually stopped. The pain suddenly stopped as well, and his burns disappeared for some reason. When he looked, he saw that Raine had her staff raised and quickly put two and two together. "You have healing arts..."

The boy named Genis ran over, dodging electricity as he did so. "Sis, he's making sure we can't enter the fight!"

Nathan frowned, seeing that the last Energy Stone was still whirring and clicking. It didn't have much life left, he knew. Before he himself knew what he was doing, he bolted towards it.

_'If I can kill it, and just hurt myself and no one else, not all will be lost right? I remember reading about a Chosen... that necklace the blonde girl has... She must be.'_ He felt something snap in place within his mind, and his hands started to glow as he charged up one of his artes.

"_Umbra_!" A simple bolt of black energy tumbled from his right hand and spiraled towards the remaining Energy Stone. He almost cheered when it hit the familiar ring, but the resulting explosion was larger than he'd anticipated, and was thus sent flying back and crashing into the controls: his head bashing hard against the top and his body sliding off of it and onto the floor. As his head throbbed in pain, he distantly heard a mechanical voice saying something, but due to the pounding in his ears, he could not make out exactly what was said.

"_**Se...f...ruct s...tem ac...vated -oun...own: t...n m...nu...es...**_"

"W-What?" He opened his eyes and cringed: what was that ugly blur of col-

"You stupid boy!" Oh, that blur of ugly color was-

It didn't completely register in his mind that it was Kvar until he felt himself hoisted up in the air by his neck, and the lack of oxygen causing his lungs to scream. Feebly gasping for air, Nathan attempted to struggle against Kvar's grip.

"You ruined my plans! _ALL_ of them!" Black started to flit at his vision, and Kvar must have seen the dazed look creep onto his face for he then gave him a violent shake.

With his head cleared for a second, he heard pounding footsteps rushing towards the direction. Without even looking, Kvar flung his hand back and sent four strikes of lightning out. Nathan didn't need to see to tell someone had gotten hurt with attack: he heard the pained feminine grunt just fine.

"And now you think you can destroy my ranch too!? I spent years carefully crafting the Angelus Project, only to have that stupid man and his inferior wife steal it, and then _more_ trying to replicate it in your body and it failed! Whether it succeeded or not, it failed because I chose to have an heir! An heir as _miserable_ as _you_!"

Following Kvar's furious words, the resulting silence after that was so prominent, one could even hear a pin drop clearly. Nathan couldn't look at the Lloyd and his team. The fact they weren't continuing their attack on Kvar at that moment just further proved their shock. He couldn't... wouldn't look at them... not now. His lie had just been ripped out from under him. No... he wouldn't.

"Kvar... has a son?" Lloyd asked. When Nathan chose to look from the corner of his eye, he saw that Lloyd's face had suddenly gone pale, his expression being a mixture of both disgust and… pity?

Nathan then looked into the eyes of the man who raised him but… that wasn't right at all. Kvar wasn't the one who truly raised him: several fellow Desian women did. When he thought about it, those women were probably forced to care for him, probably were offered something if they taught a kid what Kvar ordered them to teach.

He shivered as he looked further into Kvar's eyes and saw the pure hatred in them. If Nathan let him, Kvar would probably kill him right there. As if hearing his thoughts, Kvar's mouth twisted upwards into a smirk.

Paling, Nathan tried to summon the power from before. As he gathered his thoughts, a card was suddenly slapped onto Kvar's chest. "Life Seal!"

"Gah!" Nathan felt himself suddenly dropped to the ground as Kvar leapt away from him, and he looked up to see the raven-haired woman running towards them. Her clothes were charred around the edges, and Nathan knew that she had been the one that was struck by Kvar's last attack.

After Lloyd had soared over him and the auburn-haired rushed past him, Nathan picked himself up and stared at the three in awe. Kvar was clearly weakening, Nathan noticed with a cringe. The man was a bastard, but he was still his father...

As Nathan continued to watch, he saw how the normally pretty blue of Kvar's uniform became stained with the red of his blood, making it almost a dirty purple color. Nathan felt his heart start to beat faster at the sight of his fear, his phobia kicking into gear. Trembling in uncontrollable fear and feeling dizzy all of a sudden, he quickly looked away so he would not have to look at the horrifying sight. Finding more difficulty in breathing normally, Nathan attempted to get his breath back as well as slow his heart down with simple breathing exercises.

"Nurse!" Raine was taking the job of healing now that Kvar was focusing on the attacking threesome.

As little beams of light showered around the three and fixed their wounds, Genis joined in and fired an Icicle spell. When Nathan risked sparing the fight another glance, he saw a large sharp shard of ice pinned Kvar's foot to the ground in a painful manner. Kvar's eyes flashed and shot his staff out, sending out a quick lightning spell that was strong enough to send Genis flying and crashing against the furthest wall.

Nathan also knew that his father would not go want to hell alone. He knew that his father believed that was going to die in this fight anyway, and that Kvar would refuse to go to hell alone. At the very least, Kvar would attempt to take everyone down with him.

Nathan knew, from the flash in his father's eyes as he eyed Genis, what he was going to do. Pulling his arm back, Kvar threw his staff straight towards Genis with the intention of having it run the young boy through. Nathan knew he wouldn't be able to get there in time to save the boy, especially not with how weak he was feeling after seeing blood. No one could... except-

A blur of white, yellow and pink sped past Nathan before he heard the dull sound of a blade sinking straight into flesh.

"A-Are you alright, Genis?" Colette smiled down at Genis, who had stumbled back against the wall when she had taken the staff to her back.

"C-Colette?" As Colette held herself up on the wall above him, a drop of blood dropped down onto his clothes from her back, but she merely smiled when she saw that the boy was safe. Nathan felt his eyes widen in pure horror along with Genis as he refrained himself puking. Instead, he looked over when he saw fast movement off the side.

Lloyd charged at Kvar with renewed intensity, fueled by his anger at seeing Colette harmed. The auburn-haired man was not far behind him as Lloyd delivered the first blow to stun Kvar enough to leave him free for the next attack. As Lloyd stepped back to give him more room, with furious eyes, the auburn-haired man ran straight up to Kvar and slashed once, causing another deep cut to appear across Kvar's ribcage.

"Feel the pain-" Nathan jolted, feeling the fury, the pain, and all the emotions in those words as the tall man then sank his blade deep into Kvar's stomach: not at all caring as more of Kvar's blood splattered onto his garments.

"-of those inferior beings-"

In a final fluid movement, the auburn-haired man drew his sword out from Kvar's stomach, only to thrust it back into the Desian's body by stabbing him right in the chest. Nathan felt the acidic taste of bile rise up into his throat.

"-as you burn in hell."

That did it. The sight of all the blood that was there… he couldn't take it anymore. Nathan felt himself falling to his knees and allowed himself to vomit on the ground right there, and did not stop until he was sure that there was nothing left in his stomach to empty out.

"RAINE!" Genis suddenly screamed, looking helplessly at Colette.

Everyone's attention was now turned back to her. The staff was lodged in her back, her white priestess garment now painted red. Nathan quickly looked away from her and stared at the others instead, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand with a disgusted shudder.

"Colette!" Lloyd cried, rushing over.

"I'm fine," She insisted, forcing on a smile in hopes to convince every one of her words to no avail.

"Raine!" a trembling Genis cried as the healer ran over to them, balking as he heard the words "I'm" and "Fine" together in a sentence despite the contrary evidence. Everyone save the tall man and Raine gave some sort of protest at the fact that she should _not_be fine, at all.

"I-I mean... it doesn't... hurt..." Despite her body having lost a lot of blood, Colette herself seemed to be in no pain at all, continuing to smile at everyone in discomfort.

Raine bit her lip enough where Nathan thought she was going to bleed herself, and Genis began to wring his hands nervously.

"Lloyd, you're going to have to remove it..." Raine said, looking at the staff lodged in Colette's back over.

"W-What?! But-!" He bit his lip as well, clearly reluctant.

"She cannot begin to heal unless it's removed," the auburn-haired man cut in.

"And our time's cut short..." Nathan whispered aloud, still feeling weak from the aftereffects of his phobia. As it was, he was still bodily trembling, but he forced himself to continue. "The self-destruct system was activated when the last bot threw me into it."

"There's less than five minutes left, we'll never make it out with all the Desians!" Raine said.

Lloyd was about to speak, but Nathan beat him to it. "Yes, we will, I know a way," he informed them.

Genis clenched his fists. "How can we trust you!? You're a Desian!"

Colette, although pale, spoke up, her voice trembling. "Who may be good. Why else would Kvar keep him prisoner? When we got to the computers, someone had already shut off all the security for us, that was you, wasn't it? Show us the way."

Genis shook his head, looking up at his sister. "Colette needs to be healed f-"

"If we stay and heal Colette, we all might die," Raine said, cutting Genis off. Despite her words, she stared at Nathan with a gaze as hard as stone, clearly not liking the idea she was proposing herself. "It takes too long for me to heal a wound this deep, so we have to get out of here first. If his route is as short as we hope it is, then we'll all be fine at the end."

Raine prayed and hoped to Martel that was true.

~~~Chapter End~~~

Oh god I was listening to POGO this whole time, why...

Yup, here you go, my early Christmas present to you, I got sick and was typing this alllllll for you ahah.


	5. Tremors and Memories

**Chapter 5.**

**Goal: 2681.**

**Amount: 3265.**

**This is going to be fun. X3 Btw, I love every single one of my reviews and they fuel the fire that is my soul. Also they fuel this story. So please! Keep this story going by reviewing! D:**

**I do not own ToS... if I did... if I did...**

**~~~Chapter Begin~~~**

The group was met with no Desians. Lloyd had Colette on his back as her wings wouldn't permit her from floating at the moment.

Nathan led the group as they walked. He was secretly grateful for this, too, because he couldn't handle being behind them and having to stare at the poor blonde.

_How bloody everything had been..._ He shook his head as a tremble wracked his body.

_New subject, new subject-_

"Where will this lead?" Sheena asked. She kept close to Nathan, supervising him. She noticed how shaky the man was.

_Thank Martel!_ "If I recall, from here to the entrance, it'd take seven minutes. But the passage cuts about four out, and leads us to Luna's Bay," he said, finding himself looking over to the only person in the group he had yet to know the name of. The auburn-haired male was close to Lloyd and Colette.

They cut through the quarters. It was strange to see no Desians around. Nathan saw his room and told them to keep going as he entered it. Raine didn't look pleased in the slightest, even as he returned to the group with his sword sheath.

"The door is somewhere right..." The auburn-haired man trailed off, and that's what got Nathan to spot it.

"Here! Yeah." He glanced sideways at the man. _'How did he... know?'_ He tapped the wall, causing flat sounds that were accompanied by echos to ring out.

The auburn-haired man slammed his sword into the metal wall plating and began to work it back and forth. The wall gave away easily, and he pulled the plate down to reveal the hidden rock tunnel that was behind it.

"Oh my!" Raine's eyes glittered.

"A light, Genis?" Lloyd asked as they stepped in. The Halfling held out his hand and a ball of fire sparked there, lighting up the tunnel for a few feet.

Nathan and the tall wine-eyed man pulled the plate back into place behind them and sealed it. Had it not been for Genis' small fire, they would have been in pitch black. It was strange, Nathan thought, because it was as if revealing the hidden tunnel caused some of the suspicion from the other man to dissipate. Though he did not know the reason as to why, Nathan felt a little comfortable as he realized this.

"Well, there is an exit," Genis spoke after a few moments, watching the little flame in his hand flicker.

"We should get moving, the blast from the ranch might cause a cave-in," the wine-eyed man stated. Lloyd gently shifted Colette as Nathan sidled past them, paling and squirming at the sight of her bloodied self.

"Colette's going to be alright... right, Professor?" Lloyd asked softly.

"As soon as we get out, I can heal her," she promised.

There was a shuffle ahead of them, causing the wine-eyed man stepped forward with a hand on his hilt. Raine glared at Nathan who flinched.

"Hey, is that-" Genis started to say before a loud whine filled the cave and a huge creature barreled past Nathan and Sheena. "What the-"

"Noishe!" The large critter whined and looked about ready to tackle Lloyd before seeming to think better of it. He licked Colette's cheek tenderly before falling into step behind Lloyd, nudging her thigh every now and then.

"You want to carry her, Noishe?" He asked. Carrying her was no problem to him, but it might be more comfortable for Colette to ride on Noishe. Noishe whined again in consent, his ears swiveling back.

Lloyd gently lowered Colette onto the creature's back and the party continued down the cave. Within a few moments, the tunnel suddenly began to shake violently as everyone heard the somewhat dull sound of an explosion going off from where they came from. Genis yelped as Sheena pressed herself to the ground as parts of the cave began to rain down upon them. Instincts roared to life in everyone and the tall man took the lead, grabbing the tails of the Lloyd's jacket and keeping him out of harm's way.

"Go!" He snapped at Genis, who was frozen to the ground in fear. At the command, Genis jerked into motion and quickly and bolted down the tunnel. Noishe had already gone ahead with long and mighty leaps with Colette safe on his back. Not taking another moment to spare, the rest of the party also started to run down the violently trembling tunnel as rubble and dust continued to rain down upon them. Nathan's lungs and legs burned with exhaustion as he pushed himself to the limit in order to keep up with the group. He had never tested how long the tunnel went, and if it went any farther, then they might not-

"There it is!" Raine said from behind him. She too was feeling the effects of running as fast as she could for so long, and it was starting to show as the healer lagged behind the others. The auburn-haired man pelted over a fallen rock and Lloyd gasped as he had to follow helplessly in his wake.

"Professor!" Lloyd cried just before Nathan grabbed her wrist and yanked her out the rest of the way and into the light of day outside. Barely even half a second had passed after the two of them escaped did the old tunnel behind them collapsed into itself, with several large rocks and boulders sealing the opening.

Nathan collapsed against the rocks that now blocked the opening of the tunnel, sweat sliding down his face as he puffed out air he didn't know he'd been holding. Had he been a little later, or if he hadn't pulled Raine out with him as he did, no doubt that either one or both of them would have been sealed inside the tunnel, probably crushed to death by everything.

"That... was close," he gasped.

Raine patted dust off her cloak as she gave him a nod. "Well, thank you… you just saved my life." She didn't sound pleased at the fact at all, but her gratitude was genuine nonetheless.

It was then at that moment did Noishe padded up to the group. Colette was thankfully still on his back, but she was paler than before and was struggling to sit up despite the staff still lodged in her back and her overall condition, her concern for her friends evident. "I-Is everyone o-okay?!"

Lloyd was by her side to soothe her as the rest answered either verbally or in the form of nods.

Raine turned to face her younger brother. "It's getting dark, so Genis, how about you and Sheena set up camp. Kratos, Lloyd and I will assess Colette's wellbeing."

Genis looked like he was about to complain at first, but seemed to thought better of it. He quickly hurried away to set up a campfire as Sheena went gather kindling from the nearby woods.

Nathan saw the auburn-haired man- whom he now knew as Kratos- spare a glance at the collapsed tunnel, staring at something long past. He shuffled away before the others caught sight of what he was doing, his face a blank mask. Kratos walked over to Colette, where Raine and Lloyd were both by her side and murmuring quietly in hushed tones. Colette was shaking again and he didn't blame her: she had a staff lodged deep _in her back_. It was a miracle she hadn't died of blood loss yet, though he was sure that the weapon they had yet to take out from her body had something to do with. Strange how the weapon that was threatening her life was also _saving_ it by staunching the blood flow and reducing the amount of blood lost.

Nathan realized that Kvar's death really took a lot out of everyone. Colette was fatally wounded, Lloyd's parents were killed, or at least one of them was. Genis and Raine were half elves and they were of the same race as him. Sheena… he didn't know her yet to know how but she seemed to be down as well, too. Kratos, he felt something deep down too, he could tell.

Nathan took the swords off his back and gazed at them deeply. _'And I'm Kvar's son… it's a wonder they let me in at all…'_

He paused when he noticed something. _'Wait. Whats this?'_ He thought. _'It's wrapped in something.'_ He pulled at the cloth binding the sheath and it gave way easily. As he pulled the cloth away, his thoughts flitted to how he found them back in his room. Even though his weapon had been confiscated, it was still placed back in his room: where they always belonged under normal circumstances. It was strange, especially since he knew Kvar would never make that kind of risk. Nathan pulled a blade free and ran his finger delicately along the foot and a half-length of steel.

Nathan then remembered the creator of his weapon. Joseph… the dwarf the Desians at his ranch had hired to help manufacture their weapons, as well as one of the few friends he had in that place.

"Where are you, friend…?" he murmured, grabbing the cloth between his fingers after resheathing the sword once more. As he rubbed the sheath between his fingers, a letter that had been coiled tightly around the sword sheath fell down onto his lap.

"That sneaky... blacksmith..." Tears threatened to arise when he imagined Joseph dying in the explosion. Good people had died in that explosion too... the explosion that _he _had activated, albeit unintentionally.

He sniffled angrily and wiped the tears the fell away. Saddened by the thoughts, he began to read the letter. The first words shocked him a little.

"_Whatever you do, DON'T THROW THIS CLOTH AWAY!"_

He glanced at the cream colored cloth in his lap. It stretched a little but it was rather inconvenient given how short it was.

"_I made that for you out of a special ore and fabric mesh. Like many things you will encounter once free in Sylvarant; it is weak on its own, but under armor, it will be reinforced like one of those blockades in those adventure novels you used to read as a boy."_

Nathan felt his heart seize. He was someone who cared more than any of those maids or supervisors who taught him things... boring things he cared nothing about.

"_PAY ATTENTION!" _He was sitting in a classroom with his head in his hand, dreaming about the world outside with other would-be Desian trainees who trained on sight before acquiring a staff, bow, or sword. _Some promotion…_

"Y-Yes ma'am!"Nathan yelped as she struck the floor with her staff. He remembered why she kept that thing so close. _"To punish the youngins',"_ he remembered hearing her say, but he never really understood what it meant until later.

As the Grand Cardinal's son he was given pretty much free reign when it came to lessons and, if he got bored enough, he could just leave without anyone having the right to stop him. He always wished someone would get _him_ in trouble for a change. It was around then that he met Joseph. Joseph was a dwarf who knew his trade at the worst times. He was a klutz for being almost four times his age. But Joseph said he was still about Nathan's age when comparing dwarfs to humans.

He remembered once he'd gotten Joseph in trouble for not working on the project he had at hand at the time to instead craft his swords. Though he had been furious at him, Kvar let it slide when he found out it was a weapon for Nathan. Hindsight told him why.

Joseph had still been punished though. Brutally.

Nathan tried to never forget the image of Joseph's beaten and battered body after his punishment was received. Though the passage of time made him forget the gruesome sight, the guilt from that time had never left him.

He glanced up at the midnight sky and then saw the flicker of the fire in front of him. He then noticed the chill and shivered, wondering how long exactly he had been daydreaming, as the camp was already built around him.

He then noticed that Lloyd was standing in front of him. "We need your help," he said, causing Nathan's heart to leap up to his throat. He already had an idea of what was to be expected of him, but he didn't like it. As he got up and followed Lloyd to where everyone else was crowded around Colette, his fears were confirmed. Colette looked even worse than before, as pale as a ghost in the light of the campfire and shaking like a brittle leaf in the wind. He was shocked to see that Kvar's staff was still lodged within her back, because shouldn't the others must have gotten it out by now!?

"What's your name?" Raine asked him.

He swallowed, staring down at Colette sympathetically. "Nathan."

The silver-haired woman let out a sigh as she crossed her arms. "Well, Nathan while you were lost in your thoughts, we were trying to remove the staff from Colette's back to no avail. It's lodged too deeo in. We would like your help."

He began to pale and his eyes flicked over to the blonde who was leaning heavily against Lloyd. "Me...?"

"Lloyd needs to be the one to help hold Colette up straight and keep her still when the staff is removed. He is strong enough to do this. But because it was sunk in too deep, Sheena and Genis both would have to remove the staff. But even with the two of them, they weren't strong enough to pull it out."

"_Why can't he do it?!"_ Nathan found himself crying out as he pointed at Kratos, the fear of what was to inevitably come making him frantic.

"Kratos needs to help my sister heal while we remove the staff _your_ stupid father impaled her with!" Genis shouted angrily, an accusing finger pointed at him. Nathan felt himself jerk with those words.

'_He's right... I-I need to help..._'

He realized how wrong it was of him to just turn a blind eye away to begin with... but she was going to be drenched in blood as soon as the staff is removed. It was going to be painfully hard to look at.

"Genis and Sheena aren't strong enough to remove the staff if I'm the one h-holding Colette... W-We tried... but it's so deep in..." Lloyd started to choke up. "S-So… we need you to help them."

The brunet's eyes then narrowed with impatience. "All you need do is pull the staff when we give the word. You, Sheena and Genis all need to pull at once to get the staff out."

Nathan gulped, and after glancing at her, his stomach clenched and he felt himself starting to sweat bullets, causing his shirt to cling to his skin within seconds. Lloyd stepped around to Colette and hugged her close, whispering something to her. He didn't catch it over the roaring of blood within his ears.

_'I'm gonna be sick.'_ He thought, but nonetheless clasped his hands at the middle of the staff's handle. Genis' hands shook when he grabbed hold of the handle as well. Sheena was standing to their left and her placed hands above Nathan's when she took hold of the weapon as well.

"Raine… Kratos… ready?" Sheena asked, her voice trembling. Nathan was running his mind thin on every past calming technique he knew, but none were working. If there was another one he had forgotten, he was given no time to remember it, as the two designated healers nodded and the two holding the staff with him started to count down.

"One…" Lloyd tightened his grip around Colette's shoulders.

"Two…" Both Raine and Kratos were already charging up their spells.

"_Three!"_ Simultaneously, they pulled with all their might and dislodged the staff. The second the weapon was pulled free from Colette's body, Raine and Kratos delivered healing spell after healing spell onto Colette. Sheena had managed to keep the staff from falling into either Genis and Nathan, although she looked as ill as the both of them.

_The wound was... was..._

Nathan turned and promptly vomited into the dirt. _So much blood…_

It wasn't on just Colette either. When the three of them had finally pulled the staff free, some of Colette's warm blood landed on their clothes. Even Genis looked not too far off from following Nathan's example, but the younger boy was coping just a tad bit better than him.

Once they were sure Colette was healed and doing okay, Genis looked over at the blonde. "A-Are you okay, Colette?" He asked softly.

She plastered on a smile as sweat slid down her face. "I'm okay, just a little..." her eyes darkened a little as she trailed off, watching Sheena drop the staff by the fire in disgust.

"B-before you s-start talking..." Nathan interrupted them. "W-Where's the nearest water source...?" His voice was trembling and he was fighting the urge to faint. The smell... the sight... the feel of blood on his person... it all made his skin crawl.

"We camped right by the lake that is fed into Luin. We're about 60 meters from it," Raine stated. Stiffly, Nathan left the camp and headed to the lake. By the time he got to there, his mind was on the verge of breakdown.

_'GET IT OFFFFFF!'_ His mind screamed. He dove into the lake immediately, unphased by the stinging cold waters. When he resurfaced he started to scrub at the blood on his arms madly. He thrashed about, scrubbing, scratching and all about flailing to get the blood off.

Surprisingly, above the sound of his splashing about, he could still hear it: a sound that is similar to a groan, but also a cry of pain. When he realized the sound came from somewhere close by, he backed away and further into the lake, the past few minutes of his panic forgotten.

It felt as if his heart flew up his throat when a person stumbled into view from the forest. That was because it was due to the appearance of the person: her skin was badly charred as if she was burnt, and parts of her uniform were missing. When she caught sight of him, her eyes widened in surprise.

When she spoke, he flinched. It was because her voice sounded so dead and so tired… but also faintly hopeful due to his presence alone.

"M-Master N-Nathan?"

**Oh wow! What's gonna happppeennnn, yup, betcha I left you hanging.**

**So tell me in a review! ;D**


	6. Unstable

**Yaaayyyy Update again!**

**I can't believe this. XD**

•***°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•**

"Master Nathan, it is you!" she cried, rushing into the waters and heading towards him. He started to back up and slipped on the soft riverbed, landing with a splash on his rear.

She was a fellow Desian he was vaguely familiar with, so he could not recall her name. "Master Na-Nathan…!" She sounded relieved... But the scratch in her voice.

"Oh g-" Her hand slammed against his mouth, silencing him.

_"Shh!_ The infiltrators' camp is right there...!" Her left arm hung limply at her side and she reeked of burnt flesh and blood.

He gagged against her hand as tears filled his eyes. The smell… oh goddess, _the smell_! He shoved her away, frantic to get away from the source. He sank to his knees and saw her on her rump in the water in front of him. She was charred in places, and he could see the water around her form start to turn a dark red from the blood on her body.

_Oh goddess..._

Bile raced up his throat and passed his lips into the water as he vomited for the second time that day.

"M-Master Nathan!" She yelped, trying to find ways to soothe him as he cupped his hands underneath the cleaner parts of the water to splash it over his forehead to calm himself down. As he heard that, he heard the sound of feet pounding against the dirt.

_The others…_

They might think she's attacking him!

"No!" He shoved her back hard enough to cause her to fall over backwards into the waters, and just in time. There was a rush of wind before a sword impaled the space where the Desian woman had been standing at just before he pushed her away. The sword was now standing upright in the water, its blade impaling the soft riverbed underneath the waters.

The female Desian stared at Nathan in shock, at the hilt of the sword in the water, and then at the man who flung the blade. Kratos' gaze was cold as he glared at them from the shore. He was not the only one there, the rest of the entire party were staring at them as well. The other five pairs of eyes held a mix of emotions; confusion, accusation, worry, suspicion.

"D-Don't..." the mere proximity of her was making him ill again, but Nathan forced himself to continue, "she didn't do anything."

Lloyd took a step closer to the waters. "But she's a Desian!" He had his hands on his hilts, ready to attack. Nathan frowned a little at the brunette's reasoning.

She's a **Desian**! So she must have _**killed**_ someone!

Was that their philosophy? Their ideology? See a Desian, so kill them knowing that you're avenging anyone they might have killed?

He couldnt speak his thoughts. He knew the moment the words fell from his mouth he'd either be branded a desian or forced to stay. But considering he was Kvar's son...

But Desians are people too! They might be violent but he was an insider! He knew how they acted- and as much as he didn't get to know anyone besides Joseph_personally_- he knew they all were for a cause! They were... wanting to be-

He hesitated. She was like them: she was like Genis and Raine. They had the same taste of mana... but their auras... their personalities were much, _much_ different. Nathan swallowed thickly. "She can't even fight for herself!"

Kratos entered the waters and walked towards them, stepping hardly out of line to step around him.

"W-What are you doing?" Nathan stammered as Kratos stepped towards his weapon and pulled it from the ground before walking back to shore with not even a glance back at them.

After calmly flicking his sword a few times to dry it, Kratos placed it back into its sheath. "Do as you wish with the remainder of your life, for there's not much left." He looked past Nathan to the woman, turned and headed back towards the direction of the camp.

Lloyd looked back and forth between Kratos' retreating back, Nathan and the Desian girl. Lloyd's eyes were hot with suspicion as he gazed at Nathan, but as he turned to look at the girl, they were soft and sympathetic. Wordlessly he turned and followed Kratos. Genis hurriedly followed Lloyd, obviously eager to get away.

Nathan's eyes flitted to Sheena, who turned away. No words spoke louder as she too walked away. If a person was expected to return to their old ways, then how can they trust that he wasn't a Desian? That this right now wasn't the fact that he was truly a Desian and not to be trusted.

As Raine began her departure Nathan reached a hand out to her desperately. "R-Raine... y-you can heal right?"

She hesitated before weakly answering, "Yes."

"Can't you heal her? Please! Don't let your own kind die! She isn't like the othe-" He stopped as he saw her fists clench and shake. She whirled around and he froze at the expression on her face.

"Even if I tried, I'd be prolonging the inevitable! The only thing keeping her alive right now is the adrenaline from her body!" The two individuals in the water jerked in horror at the news. "Enjoy your last day. Forgive me for being the bearer of bad news." She turned heel and briskly walked away.

Nathan continued to stand there in the water, stunned.

Once she was out of sight, Raine pressed a quaking hand to her mouth to smother a sob. 'Am I really so powerless...?'

After Raine departed, Nathan's outstretched hand fell to his side in shock.

"_You_! You were... you were with them!" He jerked and looked over at the Desian female as she staggered upright to stand and point an accusing finger at him. "I bet it was also you who came up with the idea to blow up the ranch! If not blow it up completely on your own!"

He twitched again. _'It was completely accidental..._' His eyes turned downcast.

So it was true. Adrenaline did cause people to think quicker on their feet. He started to back away as she stepped uncomfortably close.

"I should kill you!" She roared and, with her good hand, she grabbed her sword hilt off her belt and flicked her wrist, causing the sheath to fly off the sword and disappear into the waters. He could tell how awkward she was holding it that it wasn't her dominant hand but it doesn't seem to matter to her as she then suddenly charged at him.

He ducked under her first strike, his heart already starting to pound. "I tried to help you!"

"But it's your fault I'm like this!" He saw angry tears in her eyes and stumbled away to escape a forward thrust of her sword. "You're on their side! Kvar told us you betrayed us but I thought I knew you better than that!" Her motions began to slow and he found himself being able to dodge her strikes easier.

Nathan found himself doing a lot better when he closed his mind off to her physical appearance, letting instinct take over completely. She had started to bleed again shortly after the first strike, but he wouldn't turn that fact over for his own feel good fantasy.

He stopped; why wasn't she attacking all of a sudden? She was holding her sword up like a walking cane as she leaned heavily against it, her entire body trembling. He noticed with a jolt that her wounds had started to bleed again.

"I can't... I won't... die..." She sank into the waters and Nathan stepped over to her carefully, taking care to avoid looking at either the water or her bloodied and burnt body.

She raised her head up and, although she was staring right at him, it was as she didn't see him there at all. Her gaze was so intense as she continued to stare seemingly right through him, he had to look behind him to make sure something wasn't there. No, it was just the two of them.

Letting go of her sword to allow it to fall into the waters, she reached out with her good hand suddenly as it shook, her gaze still resting on the same spot as she weakly whispered, "She's so... beautiful."

Her hand suddenly dropped like it was made out of lead as she sighed, the light in her eyes dimming abruptly. She then fell forward and he instinctively caught her in his arms, a chill running up his spine when he realized he could no longer hear her breathing. Her body was so still in his arms, and he could not feel a pulse of any kind when he pressed a finger to her neck.

She died? Was it really that simple? As much as he wanted to push her away, he couldn't do it. That would be too disrespectful. Swallowing his fears for a moment he stood up. With the dead girl cradled in his arms, he walked out of the water and rested her body underneath a tree.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, his eyes squeezing shut. He had to laugh a little. It was the second time he'd ever witnessed someone else's death right before him. First his father's, and now this girl _he could not even remember the name of_ despite them working at the same ranch. And all in one day. He was directly responsible for this girl's death. He hadn't even lifted a finger.

Yes... it was his fault. This girl... and all those in the ranch. He'd been the one to activate the self-destruct system. Never mind how accidental it was, he was still the reason it was activated in the first place. He wasn't even sure if everyone got out safely despite the warning: it was too sudden, too unexpected. Sure, he didn't see them all but everyone in the ranch were probably lying dead somewhere, their bodies mangled and broken and bloodied and burnt-

He suddenly found himself throwing up again as his body screamed in protest. He clenched his fists as tears of frustration and rage slid down his cheeks. One of his tears landed on the girl's face and he jumped when he realized this and stared down at her.

_She looks like she's just sleeping..._ He shook his head to clear that thought.

He remembered her age now though. The ranch can harden almost anyone's heart and make them seem older even when they're really not. He could tell now: the girl was fifteen. The crispness of her fading mana had confused him. Most people don't have that sort of rage yet.

His chest started to tighten and he glanced up at the rising moon. He knew he should probably get back.

***°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•**

Noishe picked up his head as he heard approaching footsteps approaching the campsite. "Whine!" He nudged Kratos' hand just as Nathan emerged.

Before he could even get a word out, Kratos said, "So, the Desians dead..."

The careful and wary air between them shattered with just those words.

"Yes. Just like you said." Nathan sat down several feet away. "She died not long later." His eyes were red from crying. He shifted as everyone's eyes lingered on him.

"Um uh... w-what... smells so good?" He tried, his eyes spying the pot, even though he had no appetite.

Genis brightened up, clearly glad for the change of subject. "It's stew. Carrots, onions, potatoes-" Nathan listened politely as Genis rattled off spices and other ingredients. "Do you want to try some?" The kid was already handing him a bowl of it. Nathan really didn't have the heart to say no.

He half smiled and took the bowl. "Sure." His smile became a bit more genuine when he got waft of the aroma from the stew struck him. After what had happened, Nathan thought he would vomit again if he ate too fast, so he began to eat slowly. But all the vomiting that day had left his stomach empty, and he found himself gobbling the entire thing down faster than he thought he could. He was starving a lot more than he thought!

Not long later, Lloyd, Raine and the others were eating too. Everyone save for Colette. Nathan jerked in shock when a thought struck him. "Colette, is this your bowl? Since you guys are a group you probably didn't need to bring extra so-"

"Mister Nathan-"

"Let me go wash it out," he said quickly as he stood up. She stopped him by touching his arm. He didn't understand why she had that pretty smile on her face.

"We have enough bowls and… I can't eat." He did not know why the air suddenly felt so heavy, especially since Colette was still smiling in that reassuring way of hers. Surely, she must be joking, right?

About three seconds had passed before he laughed. "You have to, Colette. Your body will shut down!"

"Nathan we don't have the energy to explain again. Let's just say that is how The Chosen is now after completing the seals. She now is unable to do even the most basic things a human should do," Raine said with a sigh tinged with sadness.

"When did she explain?" Nathan asked accusingly.

"While you were with the Desian." Nathan didn't miss the hint of malice in Lloyd's voice. He didn't like that he had ran off with a Desian.

_Was this... A good idea?_

Nathan sat far away from them. He reached into his pocket to get the cloth binding his sheath.

"Seems like they don't like you very much." The voice behind him made him start.

"I-I... No they... I don't think they do either," he admitted. He watched in bemusement when Sheena sat down next to him. She pulled her knees to her chest.

"They didn't appreciate me trying to kill Colette either," she said with a tight lipped smile.

Nathan felt his eyes widened as he stared at her. "W-What! You did!? Why?"

"I... I was…" her eyes gazed into the fire, "lost. I can't tell you the full story right now but... It's to save someone..."

"Would you right now?" he asked hesitantly.

She ignored his question. "...See when we met at the top Ossa Trail I thought I was ready for anything. But I wasn't... she was so kind...When we battled at the end of the trail she was so... so ready to be my friend even though I had tried to kill her..."

He sat back on his hands. "Wait. You said top and then end of the pass. Which is it?"

Sheena twitched suddenly. "Both. I had attacked her twice, but when I ran over to her the first time, she used her clumsiness against me."

Nathan's pensive face dropped to a blank one. "What?"

"There was a hidden trapdoor," she admitted, her face now broight pink in embarrassment. "When I startled her by running over with my cards ready, she accidentally flipped the lever when she fell over. Even though it was open, I couldn't stop in time and I ended up falling down it. I think I fell for about… two stories? Anyway, I ended up landing in a mine cart. It hurt, but it could have been a lot worse."

She gave him a shrug of her shoulders, as if the incident was no big deal to her, but Nathan could tell from her expression that she still found her blunder to be embarrassing.

About three seconds passed before Nathan began to roar with laughter, enjoying how the stress of the entire day came out with the sound. "_Ahahahah_! Oh_, Martel_! What an impression you must've made! Sheena, the clumsy assassin."

This… this was what he needed after a horrible day like today!

Sheena flushed a brighter red as he continued to laugh loudly. "Shut up, you! I should have known you would laugh at me! I should have never told you!" She got up and stomped away.

"Awww don't be like that! It was funny!" He insisted with a gigantic grin as she sat next to a small golden-furred wolf-like creature with large multicolored bushy tails, which gave Nathan a glare for laughing at her.

"I'm sorrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!" he wailed, trying so hard not to burst into another round of laughter from the sound of his own voice. _Not,_ he finished his thought a bit guiltily.

He couldn't help it. She was just so... hysterical just now.

As he stayed with the group more, he realized they all had their perks.

*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•

Nathan felt drowsy. He saw Genis asleep against Raine. Lloyd was snoring like a trooper. Sheena had hopped into a tree not long after their conversation. Kratos had his back to the fire and facing the wilderness.

_'Where should I...?'_ He yawned.

He saw a patch of grass that looked comfortable. As he walked towards it he felt the damp clothes stick to him. He shivered as it started to cool. He glanced back at the fire. The warmth didn't reach that far. He knew his choices: warm and uncomfortable and dry? Or cold, shivering and damp?

He sighed and laid down near the fire. Not too close where he might get burned-

With a jolt, floods of images and sounds invaded his mind. He was standing in the middle of the ranch. People shoving past him frantically.

_**KABOOM! Boom!**____**Boom!**_

He gasped and whirled around. He remembered the explosion sequence for the self-destruct function of the ranch. A bomb would blow up and cause all entrances to cave in and then a fire would rage from the inside out before a final bomb would cause the structure to cave in upon itself. After turning he paled: a wall of fire was raging towards him. A familiar looking person stood not far in front of him, limping, not even making an effort to run, his eyes dull with pain.

Tears flowed down Nathan's cheeks. His throat tightened when he heard the final alarm go off and a final blast shook the structure.

He started to run towards his friend.

"J-Jos..." His throat refused to comply, ash causing him to cough.

"_**JOSEPH!"**___He started scream when he saw a wave of rubble take over his friend and the building crashed down on them both.

*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•

He bolted upright, his sweat causing his clothes to stick to him. He was too startled and freaked out to vomit. Tears started to flow freely down his face. He started to check his person for the letter he had started last night. "W-Where is it!?"

If there was any time he needed assurance, it was now. When he couldn't find it, his chest began to tighten.

"Is something the matter?"

Nathan looked over to the person that had spoken. Kratos. "W-What time is it?"

"A little before dawn."

"How long was I asleep...?"

Kratos stared up at the few remaining stars. "About five hours it seems."

Nathan pressed a hand to his face. _'Was that all?'_

He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his dampened hair. After a dream like that, he knew there was no way he was getting back to sleep. He looked up when he saw Colette walk over to Kratos.

"Will you be cooking for us again?" She cheerily asked, rocking forward and back on her feet.

Nathan tilted his head a little with a small smile on his face_. 'She seems awfully happy... she must be feeling better after yesterday.'_

"I apologize, but I am not," Kratos said, using a long stick to prod the almost dead fire. He didn't make an effort to revive it though, so Nathan figured they'd be leaving soon.

Colette was dressed in a white, short sleeved shirt and navy blue leggings. Her priestess tunic draped over Sheena's tree. Raine had, to the best of her ability, washed the blood out. He followed the gnarls and bends of the tree up to where he assumed the mysterious woman was lounging before suddenly a blur of white and blonde filled his vision.

"So! Mr. Nathan, do you cook?" Two locks of hair slid off her shoulder.

"I-I, no, sorry." _'Cooking was always left to the lower ranking officers,'_ He thought to himself as Colette mumbled about Lloyd going to rave about waking up hungry.

"Colette?"

She twirled quickly to face him. When when her body stopped moving, the motion was enough to cause her long hair to whip her in the face. She sputtered and brought it down, her cheeks red. "Yes?"

"Are you normally this hyper?"

She blinked and tilted her head. "What do you mean?" she asked cheerfully.

"I mean, yesterday you had a-"

"_Oh_. Hehe, don't worry about it, I'm okay now, heheh~" She giggled and almost pranced away. He watched as she grabbed her tunic from where it was resting on the tree and shrugged into it. Not long later, the camp was full of life. Sheena had hopped down from her tree.

"We're going to Asgard," Raine said, straightening her sleep ruffled hair.

"But-! We just came from there!" Genis appeared behind Raine, he was rubbing his eyes.

Nathan had to chuckle to himself: the heroes from yesterday were no more than drowsy humans as anyone else.

"We need new supplies, and with Luin destroyed, it's either Hima or Asgard. And..." she cast a sidelong glance at Nathan.

He stiffened, glancing down at himself and understood. He still had his casual garbs on and they weren't normal. They looked very close to that of Desian wear. Nathan grimaced: now that he knew what was going on behind his back, he knew the sight of a Desian in any town or city would not bode well for him dressed as he was.

Genis waved as Lloyd walked over, stretching and yawning a little. "Mornin' guys. Hey, Nat, do you know how to sew?"

Nathan looked up, grimacing a little at the shortened version of his name. "Not really... no I don't."

Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, looking out towards the direction where Asgard would be. "You should learn, and quick. Before it's too late. Before you get hurt and have holes in your clothes."

Nathan nodded a little. "Alright, I understand. I'll see if I can maybe get a yard of fabric and supplies-"

"If you get the fabric, I'll let you borrow my needle and thread. But dang, it's so hard sometimes." A grin split across Lloyd's face.

"Only for you Lloyd, you get so impatient with it that I have to end up taking over," Genis said, flashing a toothy grin as he cooked a little breakfast.

"Hey, shut up, Genis!" Nathan smiled a little more: for Lloyd to talk to him without malice was... nice.

"Genis, hurry, we should leave in about a half hour," Raine said, putting a book away in her bag.

He nodded and served Lloyd, himself and offered a little to Nathan; the dish was an omelette with some mixed vegetables. Nathan thanked him and took the dish. Eating quickly, he took the now empty dish from Lloyd and Genis, he casted a glance at Colette- whom he remembered could no longer eat- who looked somber.

"Wanna wash these out with me real quick? Four hands are better than two," He said. She brightened up immediately at offer and nodded.

"Sure, of course I'll help!" She briskly jogged over and walked with him to the creek nearby. She took a plate and dipped it in the water, she scrubbed at it with her hand and used a little of the sand from the bottom of the creek to scrub at the food stuck to the plate. Nathan stared, intrigued.

"Mr. Nathan?"

"Sorry, it's just, wouldn't using the dirt from the creek make it dirty?"

"Oh... well, it can, but... it's just getting the food off, we can clean it better later, right?" She asked sweetly.

He nodded and followed suit. The duo walked back to the camp and found that the others had their bags packed already. Sheena walked over, she was carrying a much smaller bag than the others.

Where were you?" he asked, he heard a jingle and looked at her feet, a three tailed critter stood protectively in front of her.

"Corrine and I spent the last hour or so scouting. There aren't... any survivors." Nathan grimaced at the look on her face. She must have actually dug through.

_'Joseph...'_

"But there's a lake about two miles east of here. Corrine says the air smells abnormally clean for an explosion nearby. I think we should check it out."

Corrine hopped on her shoulders and nodded. "Yeah, it was really weird..." Nathan smothered a laugh, _such a_ferocious _voice for such a mean little monster!_

Raine paused to think. "It's not too far out of the way… alright. We can go. But we're leaving, now. I don't know if any other reinforcements are on the way, and I'd rather not meet any on the way."

"We're leaving in five minutes," Kratos said, standing up and dumping a bowl of water on the fire.

Within fifteen minutes, they'd come upon the wreckage and Nathan was trembling with grief. Some people had managed to make it outside and had died before getting further; he backed up and looked away.

The wreckage of the ranch reached as far as a thousand feet out. "I can't..." Nathan bit his lip, he had some decent memories here and now...

They were all gone...

"If we don't hurry alone, people will come, attracted by the smoke," Kratos said, noticing Nathan lagging behind. He nodded somberly and sped up a little.

Nathan didn't notice how long they'd been walking until he bumped into Genis. "Hey!"

"Sorry kiddo."

"Hey! I see it!" Lloyd dropped his bag and ran ahead the rest of the way. Kratos made a sound similar to a quiet chuckle and picked up his bag smoothly without even breaking his stride.

"Wow! The air is so clean here!" Genis took a deep breath and sighed.

Nathan nodded slowly to himself. _'It is...'_ The anxiety and trepidations he had before seemed to melt away by the clarity and the freshness of the air around. It really was relaxing after last night.

Lloyd's croon of excitement was cut off with a crisp gasp.

"Lloyd-? Oh my-!"

"Raine! It's a unicorn!"

Nathan's eyes grew open. _'What? Isn't that just a myth?'_

Genis started to frown. "Wait, it's-"

"Trapped." Nathan stepped to the edge of the lake and knelt down with a frown.

"The blast must have trapped it..." Lloyd didn't miss a beat.

After looking for a second, Lloyd started to unbutton his jacket, and was in the process of taking off the tank top he wore underneath before Genis stopped him.

"Lloyd! You'll drown before you even reach it!"

Nathan saw Sheena shift. "W-We can... reach it." She stammered and cleared her throat to try again. "There's a way."

"And that is?" Raine crossed her arms.

"I'm a guardian user but... I can also summon," Sheena informed.

Nathan frowned as Genis and Raine's eyes widened. "But that's a lost arte!" Genis protested.

"It was lost a long time ago when the mana couldn't handle the skill anymore!" Raine added.

"But I still have it!" Sheena insisted. "I don't have a pact with Undine yet, but I should be able to reach it if we do form a pact with her."

Lloyd made a face. "Looks like we're going to the Thoda Geyser."

Colette clapped her hands. "Yay! We get to ride in the wash tubs again!"

Nathan paled. _'Washtubs?'_


	7. Destination Recalculation

**Cha-cha-chapter **_**siete! Nana! Sept**_**! haha, Yup, chapter Seeeveen! 7!**

**I'm on a rolllllll~! Heheh~ X3 I love reviews, I can never have enough reviews! So please, spare a moment and write one! For all you know, it might be enough to get me writing.**

**I got one yesterday, (well, yesterday was 3/4/13) and it got me to surge write!**

**Goal: 3,000 at least.**

•***°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•**

As the group continued off to Asgard, Lloyd piped up again. "Wait... Asgard is about two days away, three if we don't rush, I get that. But Thoda Docks...! That's almost all the way back to Palmacosta! That's almost a three week walk!"

Nathan felt a wave of dread wash over him: he had never walked that far in one stretch in his life and, yet now, he's gonna be pushing it. _Talk about getting pushed beyond your physical capabilities_.

He didn't know he had stopped until Genis turned to look back at him from a few yards ahead. "C'mon! We're leaving!"

Nathan jumped and started to dash towards him before stopping after five steps. He casted one last glance back at the lake as it disappeared in the distance. _'Everything's so new to me... and they accepted it as fact in a snap. But even so... we'll help you.'_

The group continued in moderate silence, with Lloyd talking with Kratos about the ways of the sword. Nathan would have been interested, but he didn't have the heart.

Colette and Sheena were together at the very middle of the group. The blonde kept talking about things and Sheena would listen and smile where appropriate, but she too didn't seem very interested in the conversation.

"Hey, Raine...?" Genis piped up a little ways of walking later, and Nathan had the feeling that if it was silent any longer, someone would explode by screaming _"Anyone, say something!"._ The young silver-haired boy's voice was subdued, like he didn't want the person in question to hear. "Why were you so willing to accept Sheena's explanation and go to the Water Seal again for the Unicorn Horn?"

"The Unicorn's Horn could prove to be valuable later on. It could help Colette with her illness... maybe even reverse Clara's..." A look of pity and sadness swept over her face.

Nathan lengthened his stride to catch up. "Um... can I ask what you are talking about? It'll help pass the time a little." The siblings smiled sadly.

"They are rather depressing subjects, are you sure?" Raine asked, casting a glance at the black-haired male.

He nodded. "Colette's ill? And who's Clara?"

A darker look of depression passed over the youngest of the trio. "Colette is turning into an angel. She is the Chosen of Mana, and when she becomes an angel by releasing the seals around Sylvarant, she'll help rejuvenate the land with Martel."

"Oh..." His eyes started to widen in understanding, nodding a little as things pieced together in his head. "Oh! So she's kinda like... a really important person."

Genis snotred and then laughed aloud. "_Kinda_?"

Raine struck Genis with such velocity that the rest of the group up ahead turned back to look, their eyes wide. Genis shrunk back behind Raine, his hands on his head where she'd struck, his eyes squeezed shut as he murmured an apology.

"Y-You didn't have to do that...!" Nathan stammered, shrinking away. He suddenly felt bad.

He watched as Genis passed him and cast him a look of accusation. He caught up with Colette and smiled a little.

_'So much for building a better relationship...'_ Nathan mentally sighed.

A silence passed over the group as Nathan brought up the rear with Kratos and Lloyd in the lead. His mind began to drift to places he'd last had the letter. He remembered reading a bit of it by the fire a few nights ago. But he never remembered putting it in his coat or sliding it in his scabbard for safe keeping. He had unexpectedly fallen asleep, and when he woke up, the letter was gone.

No... nono... no no _no-_

"_NO-"_ Words sputtered out of his mouth as something grabbed his foot and pulled him off balance and onto his stomach.

"Hey-! What the-!" He got a mouthful of grass and dirt as he yelped. He twisted and kicked at his assailant and almost screamed. A giant grasshopper had figured he looked tasty.

"Ah!" He heard Colette cry and saw a flash out of the corner of his eye. She flew to his aid, her chakrams held high.

The rest of the group apparently figured since the Chosen was helping, they might as well too. The grasshopper suddenly made a loud chittering sound that made him shake in pain.

"What's it doing...!?" Nathan hissed, his hand flying up to grab his head, which was throbbing painfully. _'Hurts... my head.'_

"It's calling for help and trying to distract you, its prey! Don't drop your guard!" he heard Kratos yell.

He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them again, he saw the grasshopper right on top of him, slowly reaching towards him. With it still having a firm grip on his leg, he could not hope to escape in time. He could only bring his arm up to block his face in a pathetic form of defense. Under the steadily rising sound of the grasshopper, he also heard a whirring sound coming from behind him. He opened his eyes just in time to see a white chakram fly past his head and sliced an arm off the grasshopper, causing it to shriek in pain as yellow blood spurted violently out of its severed limb. Nathan coughed as he found himself drenched in the yellow liquid. _Oh goddess my mouth was open too!_

But something told him that was the least of his worries. The grasshopper screeched in fury and let the young man go, allowing him to get a better look at its severed limb. _Holy Martel that's a sharp limb!_ _It was almost as sharp as a sword!_

Nathan groaned as he quickly kicked the monster away, struggling out from underneath it. Raine began to heal, mainly targeting on those distracting the grasshopper at the moment. Nathan stood up, shaking off the grasshopper's yellow blood off of him.

"Aqua Edge!" A disk of water splashed Nathan in the back and propelled him forward. "Hey!" _At least I don't need a bath now..._

"You got in my way, be thankful I charged with friendly fire!" Genis yelled as he began charging up another spell. He started to get up again and managed to draw his swords when he felt a hand on his back as someone shoved him out of the way as the grasshopper charged towards him again. He groaned in frustration after he found himself faceplanted on the ground again, and his swords had skittered away from his grasp.

"Dammit, what the hell!?" He complained in frustration. What did he have to do? Tie his swords to his wrists-!?

He felt pain shoot up his leg suddenly. He already knew what was happening and clawed at the dirt as the grasshopper dragged him around in a circle.

"Genis! Lightning! _HURRY!_" He didn't know who said that, but he figured many agreed with the plan. From what he saw of the creature, it was sliced and cut in many places and didn't have much left. No one had come to its aid. Nathan suddenly felt bad for the creature as he saw it struggling.

Nathan was its prey… all this was his fault! Because he wouldn't comply! The way it hobbled Nathan could tell it was missing part of its other leg.

It gathered itself and twisted suddenly. Raine was trying to keep everyone healed along with their defenses up. Suddenly, the grasshopper twisted and jerked, releasing its grip and throwing Nathan into Lloyd. The two males crashed straight into the base of a tree, leaving the both of them dazed.

Nathan looked up at the grasshopper as it stumbled over. It made several clicking sounds as if it were laughing. His hearing was fading in and out as he fought against unconsciousness and he saw that Lloyd was already out. He then heard rapid footfalls of someone coming to their aid. He then suddenly heard the grasshopper screech before the sound was abruptly cut off. Nathan blearily looked up and saw Kratos with his blade driven straight through the grasshopper's skull with amazing accuracy.

Lloyd groaned a little as he woke. "Ugh... I guess I blacked out. Hey whoa... get off meeeeeee... I can't... breathe..." His voice trailed off as he felt Nathan's shaking form. "Whoa. You're shaking, what's up?"

He followed the older male's field of vision and stiffened as well. The look Kratos was giving Nathan and the added implications of the monster now laying down by the man's feet, with his blood coated in yellow blood… it made Kratos look truly frightening as he made his way over to the two fallen fighters. A chill went down Nathan's spine as Kratos has suddenly pierced the dirt between Nathan's knees with his sword.

Without taking his eyes off of Nathan's he said, "Harvest the limbs and the glass eyes. They will sell well in Asgard when we get there."

With his instructions given, he pulled the sword free without any difficulties and wiped it clean against the grass nearby before sheathing it. Without another word, Kratos calmly walked away, but Nathan was still shaking a little from their interaction.

Lloyd cleared his throat a little and Nathan jerked. He swiftly got off him and stammered. "Sorry..."

"Hey, it's alright. Kratos is pretty scary sometimes." A mischievous look glistened in his eyes. "At least I know your clothes are wet from Genis' Aqua Edge."

Nathan didn't get it until Genis started laughing outright and Sheena snorted while mumbling "_boys._" He flushed and pouted a little. He slowly got up and grabbed his lost swords and sheathed them.

"Man, but I don't get why he glared at you so much. I remember when Genis almost got carried away by that giant lady bug. Colette, do you remember that?" A loud giggle escaped her lips before she covered her mouth with a small blush, she didn't want to be mean.

The young half-elf pouted and kicked the dirt. "Oh _sure._ It's funny _now!_"

Raine walked over and performed a First Aid spell on Nathan. He sighed a little as the wounds closed seamlessly. "Thanks." He smiled at her, but she walked away and their journey continued again.

"Oh and hey, Nathan, why aren't you freaking out?" Lloyd asking, turning towards him and walking backwards so he did not have to stop walking.

Nathan tilted his head a little. "What do you mean?"

"The monster bled all over you, but you didn't shake or freak out until Kratos glared at you. But when Colette bled on you, you vomited... quite a bit actually," Lloyd pointed out. Nathan grimaced at the memory.

"Fascinating!" Raine interrupted, Nathan and Lloyd looked over at her. "That was very bright of you to notice that Lloyd."

The boy shrugged a little as Nathan replied, "I don't really know myself, but now that you pointed it out... it was weird."

Sheena walked over to join them, now holding a small purse in her hands that Nathan knew he saw Colette carrying earlier. "We're gonna head over to Asgard, right?"

"Yes, that's been discussed," Raine confirmed.

"Good, cause I don't really wanna lug these around all the way to Thoda," she said, opening up the small bag and showing them the contents within it.

Everyone except Kratos cringed a little. Sheena had taken apart the grasshopper, and the bag was filled the monster's severed and bloody limbs, all cut down to size so they could fit within the small purse. They could also see two large glass-like eyes within them. Her kimono was drenched a dark yellow from the blood of the creature.

She snapped the purse shut again before spreading out her arms out n a stretch with a grimace. "Yeah, I'm gonna need a bath after this." A sly grin spread across her face as she continued. "And an Aqua Edge just won't cut it."

Nathan thought he heard a little _"hmph"_ from Kratos, but it was masked by the entire rest of the group either giggling or laughing. So he thought it was just in his head.

_'It wasn't even that funny.'_

"Sorry again for having to use your coin purse, Colette," Sheena said guilty as she glanced at the blonde, who only giggled in response.

"Oh, it's okay. Lloyd and I can share a coin purse," she assured the ninja.

"As... long as you don't mind." Sheena said, still with a good degree of hesitance in her coice. Colette turned to Lloyd, who flashed her a thumbs up and a grin.

"Genis, is there a way we can wash these without drenching me?" Sheena then asked the young boy, waving the purse in her hands.

Nathan made a face. _'Again with the Aqua Edge! They just won't let it gooooo!'_ he mentally whined.

"It'll take some concentration, but maybe." Genis began to cast, and water slowly began to well from the ground. Nathan felt a twist in the mana around them and his eyes widened.

"Wait-" he started to protest, but it was too late.

Before Genis could halt, the mana backlashed and threw the young mage back and onto the ground. He let out an "oomph" sound and slowly sat up.

"Woops. Guess I used the wrong word..." He looked up as the water he called up rained down on them in tiny droplets.

"Are you okay?" Raine asked tenderly, kneeling by her brother.

"Yeah, mana doesn't really like it when you manipulate it differently," Genis said. Raine chuckled a little in agreement and nodded.

"But that's weird. It still worked." Sheena said.

"Guess it wasn't pleased with the last word... Mana doesn't like to be called with inferior words I guess," Genis said as he stood back up.

Nathan tilted his head at that explanation. "What do you mean, inferior?"

Genis tilted his head before laughing a little. "Oh... well. You have to call mana with certain words and they're usually really fancy too. Most times, you won't think about it, it's almost part of you, but if people want to know if there's a spell for something, they have to place a little with wording."

Nathan nodded in understanding. "Gotcha." _'Wow, magic's tough stuff... is that why the mages were always so tired after training? They would always drain their mana but also strengthen their storage bank? If that's true, that might explain why Genis is so young but can hold so much mana already-'_

"Erm... why are you staring at me?" Genis asked, waving his hand up at Nathan since the man was a lot taller than he was.

Nathan blinked himself out from his thoughts. "Oh... just thinking..."

Genis' eyes suddenly narrowed. "You wanna say something?"

Nathan's eyes grew wider at the hostile tone he used. "No, I'm just amazed at your mana storage bank for being so young," he said truthfully. "It's surprising."

Genis blanched. "W-What?"

"Well, new recruits would be about your age. I can tell your age by your Mana. You're about-" He paused to think, and knew Genis wouldn't interrupt, the young boy was mesmerized, "-thirteen?"

"No..." Genis hesitated, then mumbled, "Twelve."

"Really? You're very mature for a twelve year old."

Genis straightened and took the compliment to heart. "R-really? I-I mean... I know..."

Nathan chuckled again, he knew one day he would worm his way into their hearts.

Sheena and Colette were talking again as they walked. Colette would shift from walking on foot, to floating whenever she got tired. The sun was now starting to set behind them and he stared at Kratos and Lloyd, both who were talking together again.

_'They can't possibly talk about swords all this time..._' Nathan thought, when suddenly a thought struck him that caused him to freeze.

'They look... really alike. In this light, their hair looked almost the same shade. The only thing different were their hairstyles, where Lloyd's hair pointed upwards and Kratos' were pointed downwards.

But… Lloyd called him Kratos as did everyone else, so there wasn't any familiar relationship. At least... not one that they knew of? _'Hmm... Gah! I can't think!'_

"Nathan, why are you scratching your head so hard?" Colette was floating next to him, tilting forward to look at him.

"Hmm, just thinking."

"I wonder, if you think any harder, will smoke come out your ears?" Genis teased a little.

Nathan rose a brow. If his expression had any words, it would be alone the lines of a sarcastic, _"Hardy har, funny."_

They laughed a little before a few yawns started to fill the crew. "Mr. Kratos. I think everyone's starting to get sleepy," Colette told the auburn-haired man. As much as the distractions kept him awake, Genis was already starting to lag behind.

"Chosen, see those lights?" Kratos pointed.

She cupped her hands around her eyes and made a face. She started to float upwards a few feet before her eyes lit up. "Oh! I see it! Asgard isn't too far!" She dropped to the ground again.

"But we won't have the money to-" Raine started to say before Sheena interrupted.

"When we sell all this junk, we'll have enough to stay five nights _and_ get food too as well as new supplies, but saving is good too," the dark-haired girl said.

"Resting with the parts of the grasshopper would only attract more monsters as well," Raine said with a grimace.

Sheena nodded in agreement. "Fair enough, we will keep going."

After that, it was mostly quiet. When the city lights were closer, Colette tucked her wings away.

"Why hide them?" Nathan asked, looking over at her.

"Well..." She made a face. "As much as we stand out, Asgard is a big city and last time we were there, no one really noticed us."

"Plus," Lloyd began, "we have issues with someone taking our identity."

Nathan paled. "Wow... that's-"

"It pisses me off so much too!" Lloyd exploded furiously. "We saw them too and knew about it, but didn't figure it out until they were out of the city!"

"Did you honestly want to cause an uproar within the city?" Kratos calm voice held a little bit of an edge that had a hint of challenge in it. Colette wrung her hands a little and Genis looked down- he had a face that Nathan couldn't place- but he was brought back to attention when Lloyd jerked and Nathan saw the anger melt away.

"And what would you have done?" Kratos pressed. "Struck them down?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what?"

"I-I don't know, Kratos," the young swordsman admitted. Kratos nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

Sheena walked over to Nathan, the awkwardness must have gotten to her. "Hey."

"Whoa, want me to carry some of that?" He offered gesturing to her other bags, she blinked and shrugged.

"It's heavy but if you're sure." She took one of the larger bags off her shoulders and handed it over to him. "You just look so wea- Ah!" She quickly took back her bag back when as she saw him start to struggle with them.

"M-Martel! That's heavy!" Nathan panted.

She smiled as she placed the bag back over her own shoulder. "Heheh... As I was saying... you're about as thin as a twig... you look so weak."

Nathan pouted a little and straightened an imaginary kink in his back. "I'm a technition... I never worked in the field." His face suddenly darkened. "And I'm... glad I never did."

"Speaking of which... why didn't you become a Desian?" She asked carefully.

Nathan looked up ahead: the others were far enough away they wouldn't hear. He didn't really want to have this conversation five more times, but...

"I remember my dad yelling at me once. It was my first day of training. I was twelve. He'd asked me to spar with someone younger than me. Since training usually started around eleven- usually kids like us didn't see battle until about thirteen or fourteen- mind you." He took a shaky breath and continued. "He was also new, so we were kinda matched. I held my own until he slipped and I cut his arm badly. He handled the accident a lot better than I did."

Nathan stopped to push back his sweaty bangs, the memory stirring up some bad things in his past. "Back then, I handled things even worse. Since I'd been the one to injure him, I cried for a long time before kinda shutting myself off from others."

Sheena turned towards him, eyes wide. "What did Kvar do then?"

Nathan chuckled weakly. "He wanted to kill me. I see now, that he wanted me as a brutal killer... so I could continue with the ranch just as brutally when he's gone. And when I didn't fulfill that needed trait he had... he wanted to throw me away. But it was Harlond, his trustee- or assistant, I don't know- that saved my ass. He told Kvar that I was far more advanced in anything else." He kicked the dirt.

"Hey guys, don't get left behind back there." Lloyd called back to them, oblivious to their topic.

"That's... terrible..." Sheena mumbled after they sped up their pace a little.

"It wasn't too bad. At least then the onslaught of nannies ended."

"Because the point of them was to teach how to teach you to be the Desian they wanted?"

"You got it." He moved his hands behind his head and cast her a sidelong glance, seeing her bite her lip.

He continued to talk. "That's right...Desians... I hate the word. That girl, remember? I didn't know many well, but that girl had a sister. She was killed by humans. She'd boast about how she was waiting until the ranch accepted her for active duty but I knew. After her sister died-"

Sheena started to back away. "Stop."

"-she had no one but herself until she turned ten and was finally allowed into the ranch," he continued on regardless.

"I said shut up!"

"Why!?" he snapped. "Because I'm giving faceless enemies names!? Things normal people can relate to!? Desians are people too! In a way it saves them!"

Sheena's eyes flashed. "Saved?! That's-!"

"Ranches are horrible places that only breed more contempt," Raine interrupted, having heard them.

Nathan felt rage bubbling up that the fact that they clearly didn't understand, that they branded him but wouldn't see it from his point of view.

"Do you see homes for half elves anywhere else?!" His voice started to rise and the whole group stopped. His fists shook as he continued to rant.

"I've heard them. Getting chased out whether they were accepted at first or not. Everyone assumes they're either a Desian or worse! Where else can they go? Humans push them to the ranches. They blindly push them towards it... I have the blood of both in me and I can't accept it..." His jaw started to hurt. He clenched his mouth tightly within the intervals of talking. "All I'm saying is... it's better for half elves to have a home than... none at all..."

_Don't look at Genis._

"I'm alone too... My own dad hated me to his last breath. And my mom... Kvar never told me but I'm pretty sure she's dead. And the only friend I have was taken from me by an accident caused by me..."

He felt a harsh sting on his cheek suddenly as someone slapped him. He stared at Colette with wide eyes as he raised a hand up to rest on top of the throbbing skin. She was a lot stronger than she looked…

"I'm so sorry, but you were babbling, and Lloyd and Genis and Raine were so stunned and-" she spoke frantically, her own eyes wide with what she had just done.

Nathan looked at Colette thankfully. "It's... okay..."

"We're here." Kratos said, breaking the silence. It was then that they all noticed that they had arrived at Asgard's city entrance.

It was one that said, even when he had escaped all the brutalities of the ranch...

He still suffered.


	8. Asgard At Last

**Chapter eiiigghhtt**

**I do not own anything except the circumstances resulted in Nathan's presence in the group that wouldn't have happened without him there.**

**:D CHAPTER 8!~**

**Edit as of 4/25/13. I'm putting My Wretched Symphony on a temporary hiatus while I fix up the chapters and make them more realistic. But don't worry! I'm writing on ahead too. **

•***°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•*°*•**

Nathan's eyes stretched wide as they passed under the archway in the front of the city. While it was late at night, the city glowed amber with paper lanterns hanging wherever they could and candles were in little paper bags lining the path.

Colette covered her mouth, her eyes lighting up.

"Oh my- Lloyd, it's so pretty, isn't it!?" She giggled and started to tremble with excitement. She grabbed the taller teen's hand and shook it up and down in enthusiasm, hardly unable to stop from dashing into the festivities.

Lloyd laughed, "Alright, alright, we'll go see what's up!"

"Yeah, what_ is_ up?" Genis asked, turning to Raine. "We were only gone about three weeks, what-"

Colette made a little sound and almost dragged Lloyd onward. Nathan almost thought she sounded frightened, what could she see, or sense, that he couldn't?

"Look!" A person said, Nathan felt a little feeling of discomfort worm its way into his being. A group of civilians was approaching them, quite rapidly even.

"So she's the Chosen!" A woman gleefully said, clasping her hands.

"Chosen one!"

As much as Colette loved helping people, she didn't appreciate being... _mobbed._

The group was surrounded quickly. Murmurs of approval floated from the people suddenly trapping the seven.

"We're sorry we missed you last time, Chosen."

"Please forgive us!"

Colette tried to wave her hands in dismissal.

"You saved us from the Desians to the East!"

Nathan's growl of frustration was lost into the crowd when cheers erupted. But the jubilee was lost when a person yelled, "Why does your companion look like a Desian!?"

Pandemonium erupted.

"The bastard! Where!?"

Nathan felt a person grab his collar. "That's him-!"

"Wait-! I'm not-" Nathan yelped as he was separated from the others. "I'm just a-"

A blow to his stomach caused him stop and double over; all air rushed from his lungs.

"Stop, please!" He heard Colette beg, but her voice was distorted across the laughs of satisfaction.

"We got him now!" Another set of hands pulled him upright and he felt another blow slam into his jaw, he felt his feet fly out from under him after the third blow.

"Please, stop!" The group, he saw from the corner of his eye, was trying to pull people away, but people would either shrug them off, or another would take that person's place.

"I know him, he's Kvar's son! Kill him!"

He felt the blows stop a second; he started to reach up a hand before he felt someone kick him in the head. Stars exploded behind his eyes before he heard a sharp crisp sound that cut the air.

"_**THE CHOSEN SAID STOP.**_**"** Kratos' commanding attitude had the crowd paralyzed. Nathan could see the crowd immediately try to get away from him, his sword was drawn; ready to stop the madness at the Chosen's wishes.

But Nathan knew through the fog that clouded his mind with pain that the russet haired man didn't intend to use the sword, it was just an empty threat, a bluff. But if anyone took that bluff... Nathan couldn't comprehend any farther without his head starting to hurt more.

Colette pushed past them and helped Nathan up. Her eyes were wide with panic and worry. She knew with a little healing with Raine he would be okay, that she didn't worry about. But she was frightened at how everything had just exploded out of proportion.

The other members of the group besides Kratos looked on in shock.

"Chosen-" A man from within the crowd asked, the cold shoulder she gave him was her reply as she tried to steady Nathan.

"C-Cole-?" He stood for about a fraction of a second. "M-my head hu-hurts..." He suddenly toppled from her grip and backwards onto the solid ground. She jumped as he groaned.

"I'll be better in a minute... a-and please, don't punch me again..." The crowd began to disperse now as Nathan lay sprawled out, his head pounding.

He heard the chatter return and festivities continue. The roar of people made his head throb, but he stared up at the black sky and watched as the sky shifted a little. He heard all steps retreat, the group had left too.

When he stopped zoning out, he noted that the position of the stars had hardly moved, barely five minutes had passed.

He sensed a presence that had yet to leave; he recognized that presence.

"Why didn't you leave with the others, Genis?" He could sense the boy was in his blind spot, sitting above his head. '_Yeah, I'm not gonna strain to look that far._'

It was hard to hear the young boy as he spoke. "There were half-elves in that crowd... They knew you not by your face... but by your mana signature... the uniqueness... how you have one fourth elven blood."

Nathan felt the mana above him swirl and constrict.

"And they... they just attacked you... but you were with us. And usually they treat us like gold... It's like they thought we were blind. No, oblivious, to the fact, that you were _dressed in Desian clothes._" He laughed sardonically.

"Genis-"

"It's not your fault that you didn't have anything else to wear."

"_Genis_." The boy finally stopped rambling. "You know how you guys infiltrated the ranch twice?"

He nodded, but remembered Nathan couldn't see him and said, "Yeah...?"

"I saw you guys cornered by Kvar." He'd been doing really well not stutter over that word, so he wouldn't start now. Nathan pulled himself up to sit next to Genis as the boy flinched a little at the memory.

"That's when we learned that... Exspheres were made from humans..." He whispered hoarsely.

"That was... an eye-opener for me too... I learned that... everything Father told me was a lie, and I needed to get out. You guys were my way out. If I could have... I would have left with you then, but then Sheena used that... that..." _Crap, I called him father... but... Genis didn't seem to notice..._

"Guardian Seal, I think she called it."

"That, and you guys disappeared."

"Wait, then was it you who let us in?" he asked, looking over as his blue eyes widened.

Nathan grinned. "Yeah, I knew you guys would return eventually. In fact, I had actually went to see how strong the security was and _bam!_ You guys were infiltrating again."

Genis laughed a little. He started to tremble though. "It was really scary... when we separated... I thought... any moment someone would come across us and capture us and kill Colette."

"But you're here now, you're fine."

Genis nodded and started to stand. "Yeah. Oh and... um... thanks."

Nathan figured he must have looked confused, because Genis continued, albeit uncomfortably. "About the... half-elves without a home thing..." He didn't go into detail other than that and simply walked away.

"Wait, Genis... you sound like you managed to settle down...? How?"

"We lied," he said, then turned. "Please don't tell the others?"

"My lips are sealed."

Genis relaxed a bit. "You're alright for someone who was raised in a ranch." Nathan started to relax before the young half elf continued, "But if you even _think_ about hurting Colette at all, I'll burn you to a crisp!"

He raised his hands in defense as the boy's mana swirled and darkened. "Alright, alright... I'd never be able to do it anyway, not with my phobia." As much as what he said was supposed to be deterring, Genis made a face and turned.

Just as the boy left, Nathan was greeted by raven haired familiar face.

"Kratos was right, the mercantile strip is roaring with life. The merchant I talked to happily accepted my trade," Sheena said as she shook her coin sack as she plunked down next to him, one leg folded close as the other outstretched.

"Open your hand." He blinked and obeyed. Many heavy coins fell into his hand.

"There's some gald." She said, "Your share." Nathan's eyes widened a little at the coins. "My share? What do you mean?"

"You were dragged by the thing, the least I could do is give you a little. Besides, how would you afford clothes?" He sighed a little, "Right..." Upon inspecting the coins a little more, he grimaced. He'd been told how to use them before by the nannies, handled them before, but now that he looked at them, he didn't know what each one was, how much each was worth.

"Um...? I don't... know what they are? I know it's gald but... what is each coin worth?" He asked slowly. '_Goddess, she must think I'm stupid._' He thought, before Sheena reached out.

"That's gold, silver and copper gald." She pointed to the copper coin. "Ten of these are equal to one silver coin. Ten silvers to one gold."

"So... just like multiplying to the next decimal place?" "Right, for example, you have 263 gald in your hand. But you have two gold coins, six silver coins and three copper." Nathan slowly nodded, taking it all in.

She nodded. "And if you start having too many copper or silver pieces, you can go to a gald currency exchange place and they'll take 60 of your copper pieces and give you 6 silver back. I suppose if you're bad with directions you could go to a shopkeeper, but they're sneaky about exact change." He nodded slowly again.

He nodded slowly again. "I think I got it."

"This should be enough to get you some new clothes, definitely out of those Desian garbs. Maybe a few other things if you buy cheaply."

He stared into his lap for a second then mumbled something.

"Um, what? I didn't hear you the first time..."

"Can you go with me? I've never traded anything before!"

She blinked slowly before chuckling. "How about you try once and if you start to get scammed I'll jump in to stop it?"

"But-"

She sighed. "Watch me." She walked to a stall selling light armor.

"Hello there little lady, how are you doing this evening?"

"I'm great, thanks for asking." She said, leaning against the stall a little, her eyes scanning the wares he was selling. "So this festival... what's it for?" She was genuinely curious, and didn't know what it was for.

His eyes sparkled. "Ahh, The Chosen and her fine elven companion, Miss Sage, helped defeat a wind monster up on the dias that had been threatening us the past few months."

"Ah, I see, that white robe, how much is it?" She asked, rolling the cloth between her fingertips.

"Ah, a fine choice! It absorbs attacks made by the light element and is mean to be worn under clothes for the best effects."

Sheena nodded, Nathan assumed she already knew the latter half. "I see, and how much?" She asked, loosely wrapping her arms.

"One thousand, three hundred and fifty gald."

Nathan choked on his air. "What! There's no- _OW!_" He felt pain shoot up his shin; biting back tears was the hardest thing yet as the tender bone screamed, he tried to muster a look of accusation as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"_Shh, I got it, don't say anything._" She hissed to him, as she steadied him.

He nodded, still in pain. "'_Kay."_

"How about one-thousand?" The shopkeeper grimaced, but as he was about to counter her offer, she spoke again. "Seven hundred with a grasshopper's glass eye."

He was immediately interested. "In gold."

She shook her head. "Silver."

The shopkeeper bit his lip. "Both."

"Alright," she said, handing out the coins and the glass eye. He handed her the robe and she draped it over her shoulder, looking pleased.

"Wow, you just wormed your way out of at least five hundred gald," Nathan said, walking next to her with a slight limp.

"Hey, I didn't kick you that hard."

"Uh, _yeah_, weakling here."

She laughed a little. "Sorry, I'll remember for next time. Isn't it fun to barter?!"

Nathan's grin fell. "You went too fast, it was like, 'yes, no maybe, okay'." Nathan's eyes swirled a little to imitate dizziness.

Sheena snorted. "It wasn't that fast."

"To me it was, it made my head hurt!" Nathan complained.

"Once you get clothes," Sheena started, glancing at his current attire. "You should sell those. Desian garbs are in high demand. We never know when another ranch might pop up, and then we need infiltrators, and you kept that in perfect condition. There's also a chance you'll get more for the whole outfit than I got for the whole grasshopper."

Nathan's jaw fell. "_No way_, you're lying."

"You'll see." She flashed a grin. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of selling these clothes. He'd worn and retailored and worn and retailored these clothes since he was thirteen... and he remembered having a lot of growth spurts.

"...are you into?"

Nathan twitched as he was pulled from his intricate web of thoughts again for the nth time that day. "What?"

"What kind of clothes are you into?" Sheena repeated.

He pondered a moment before replying. "Well, I like pants that I can move in, cloaks and cropped shirts-"

"Kinda like Genis' choice of clothes." She grinned wolfishly.

"Yeah because I can move, and fight quicker. In these I can hardly walk!" He gestured to the Desian clothes.

"But we don't want it to seem like we stole Genis' ideal wear of clothing, do we." Her grin widened.

It finally hit him that she was poking fun at _him._ "Oh! Noo! The kid has enough reasons to hate me!"

"Haha, relax, I'm only kidding. I think you should sleep on this. We need to meet the others at the inn anyways."

He nodded and followed her quietly. Upon entering the inn, the receptionist directed Sheena towards the left and Nathan towards the right.

'_Ohhh, I see. They had divided into two rooms; one for boys, one for gals. I guess that's respectable. Even when we all sleep under the same roof of stars when outside._'

Raine walked behind him. "Good evening," Nathan said politely.

"Did you enjoy your carouse of the city?"

"Umm... I guess?" She didn't appreciate him too much, he felt, even when he'd saved her life. No, he wasn't going to be the one who held it against them, saying '_I saved you, now pay me back with a great deed!'_ He would give and give and give to this group as much as it took for them to finally trust him, even if it meant his life. Upon entering the room, she followed him in.

"Lloyd, Genis-" she nodded to Nathan as well, "leave and roam the city, or stay in your room, it doesn't matter to me, but do not _leave_ the city. We will be leaving for Hakonasia Peak the morning after tomorrow." Raine took her leave and shut the door behind her.

Nathan drifted into the room, Lloyd and Genis each sat on a bed, semi unpacked. He supposed it was of stuff that could be replaced that was unpacked. Anything valuable was left in the bags in case they had to flee quickly. He noted Kratos was studying a map, using a light pencil to draw coordinates on it that Nathan couldn't quite see from over where he'd been sitting. He reached the remaining empty bed and set his swords on the head of the bed and watched as the younger boys cheerily talked about what to do.

"Cool! That means we can go out and enjoy the festivities! I wonder what they got since you know, we helped..."

"Lloyd!" Genis scolded. "We should visit Aisha, Linar, and Harley while we're here!"

Lloyd grinned and nodded. "Oh yeah, totally!"

As much as Nathan wanted to let them talk amongst themselves, curiosity got the better of him.

"Who?" He asked, looking over. Genis was getting comfortable, why shouldn't he?

He laid back and almost sighed in happiness.

'_Oh sweet Martel, I must've died and gone to heaven.'_

Lloyd sat with his hands behind his head, one knee propped up while he leaned against the headboard. "When we were here last time there was a monster acting like the Summon Spirit of Wind, fooling the towns people into giving sacrifices. Genis, do you remember how often Aisha said the guardian demanded the sacrifices?"

"Well, Linar said it began after he accidentally activated the dais. Then he demanded a sacrifice every three weeks?"

"It was four weeks." Kratos corrected. When Nathan looked over, he noticed that as much as time passed, there hadn't been many new markings. In fact, it kinda looked like _I'm attempting to look busy, do not bother me._

Nathan turned his head back to the younger boys as they continued.

"What I don't get is... wouldn't people _know_ that a holy being such as a Seal Guardian or Summon Spirit wouldn't demand sacrifices?"

"Lloyd, fear is a powerful thing to experience. The stress it can cause can hinder the mind. They were merely buckling under the stress brought upon them by the fraudulent spirit."

Nathan and the teens grimaced.

"I hope that you do not have to experience such true fear., Kratos whispered to himself.

"What?" The boys, younger than he, heard him mutter but couldn't make out the content of the sentence.

"Pardon me." He excused himself and stood up to walk out. Nathan glanced again at the map.

'_Not a single extra scratch. So he does listen when he wants you to think he's zoning out working on something. That sneaky bastard. He doesn't have to act so uptight about it..._'

"Hey, Nathan, can you shut off your light?"

"What? Oh." He reached over and stared at the orb of light that hung on the wall. He realized the technology between Desians and the people they terrorize was... vastly different. Their lights had switches, these do not.

"W- how do I..."

Genis grumbled as he got up. He pulled the cap off and blew the light out, blaneketing the room in darkness. "It's a gas lamp." Genis returned to his bed; Nathan knew by the rustling of covers and a sigh of content.

In the darkness of the room, a shiver went up Nathan's spine. Was the ranch really only two nights ago? The bodies, the explosions all caused his mind to swirl and cause a storm.

_Stop, you're going to make yourself sick._

Maybe it was just because he was suddenly so..._tired._ But he didn't argue with this wise side, it helped him before, it'll help him again.

'_What do I need to buy tomorrow?'_ He felt his eyes start to adjust to the little bit of light that seeped in from the blackout curtains. The festival was still booming.

'_Another journal..._' He remembered with dulled agitation that eighteen years of journaling was just... burned up.

'_A new... outfit..._' He yawned but his mind was still very agitated. _'Sword cleaning kit..._' He covered his mouth to smother the loud yawn. '_Ugh and a blade to shave with too.'_ He could hear that the boys were already deep asleep, with Kratos probably going be out for a while.

While he lay there, he stared up at the shadow above him. '_What?'_ It rippled and started to grow gnarled. '_What the...?'_ He jolted as something wet splashed on his face.

Wet. He brought his hands to his face quickly; his vision could pick out perfectly the coloration from skin to the ripe red liquid.

'_B-blood... but... where?'_ He began to seethe as panic began to grip his heart, another dripped to his hand, he gasped and looked up.

'_You didn't save me, Nathan._' Instantly he started to tremble, it was Joseph's blood dripping on him. Panic, fear and grief seized him in one icy grip.

As his eyes traveled up the form that was taking shape, his trembling increased.

Joseph's body was broken, bloody and-

He snapped awake, flailing out of bed, he fell onto the floor. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard someone cry out, startled at the racket as he tried to detangle himself from the sheets. He was making strangled cries as he searched for a bucket.

He pressed a hand to his mouth as he choked back sobs and forced to keep the vomit down at least until he could make it outside.

He threw himself against the door and it flew open. Kratos stumbled back, genuine shock written on his face as Nathan whimpered and ran past him.

He barely made it off the path just outside the door before he fell on his knees and vomited.

It was a wonder he didn't choke with how hard he was sobbing between retches. The waves passed but he still stood on his knees, shaking. His arms wrapped around himself as he cried into one hand.

He got up and stumbled away from the bush that now reeked.

"Hey, are you okay?" Nathan looked back to see Lloyd walking out in just a tank top and his pants, though his suspenders were lax at his hips.

"I...I think so..."

"What happened?"

The young adult's eyes darkened. He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't... I don't really-"

"We don't have to talk about it right now," Lloyd quickly cut him off. "Hey, stay here for a sec, I'll be right back."

Nathan watched as the teenager got up and went back into the inn. He returned about an eternity later with a glass of cold water. How could he tell that it was cold? The glass had condensation already.

"Here." Nathan looked up from his spot on the dirt. "Take it, it's for you." He reached up with a shaky hand and took it from him.

"T-Thanks."

Lloyd shrugged and sat down next to him. "Bad dream or something, huh?" he began awkwardly.

"To put it bluntly." Nathan said weakly. He set the water down. He saw Lloyd grimace at his side, apparently he didn't mean it to come out like that. He heard a few footfalls in front of him. Looking up, he saw Noishe before them.

"Hey Noishe." The large creature eyed Nathan and stayed about ten feet from him. He let out a low whine. "C'mon, it's okay." Lloyd cooed and Noishe stepped forward. Staying on Lloyd's side the two-toned creature plopped down. He chuckled a little as the 'dog' rolled onto his lap.

Nathan reached out, glancing at Lloyd for permission. When he nodded, Nathan continued to reach out and scrubbed behind Noishe's ear. He lolled his head back and stiffened a little.

"It's alright," Lloyd crooned to the creature. He smiled a little.

Noishe shook and got up, his owner groaned in pain at the flailing limps before he hefted him up. "You big thing!" He taunted lightly. Nathan smiled again. Noishe whined as Lloyd stood up.

"If you're doing better, I'm gonna go back to sleep."

"Do you know what time it is?"

Lloyd shrugged and scratched his head as he walked back into the inn.

Now that Lloyd was gone, Noishe stared at him for a long while. "Yes? You want a pet, but you don't trust me too much, right?" Nathan asked. Noishe's ears laid back a little in defiance.

Nathan laughed again. Now that he thought about it, didn't someone say this inn was more expensive? He nodded and remembered Raine muttering to Kratos about how expensive the nights at the inn would be. He replied by saying not to worry, and that if it was that big of a deal, he could take care of it. Nathan's gaze flitted to the city: the sounds coming from there were now a gentle murmur compared to earlier roar.

Looking at the glass that was still next to him, he grabbed it and dumped it on his head. He shivered and sighed. It wasn't until the water began to evaporate and cool his skin did he realize that somewhere between the time he'd fallen asleep and now he'd shed his shirt. He looked at Noishe who whined pitifully as the new 'friend' started to retreat.

"What, you want in to bug Lloyd? You're too big, the innkeeper might get mad. Maybe next time, kay buddy?"

Noishe sniffled in rejection and dipped his head, pawing at the ground and lumbered away. Nathan would have felt bad, if he'd been feeling better. He headed inside to attempt to get more sleep, as much as he was afraid to.


End file.
